Shes complicated and i have no confidence

I met this girl a little over 16 months ago, we talk alot and i know she has never had a serious relationship, she is complicated and all the signs looked alright and i finally got the guts to make my move, we were in bed and i started and then she pulled away, i instantly stopped and i respected her decision. She went quiet for a couple of weeks and then it came good again. We hung out alot and got really close, then all of a sudden she started distancing herself. I didnt no what to do, i would then spend the next 6 months abusing alchohol and drugs (never have done them untill i lost it). I got a girlfriend out of anger, and it was fine. I never really recovered. So i was stuck with a girl i didnt want because i am an idiot and my mind never once wandered from the girl i wanted. I came clear, broke it off with the other girl and was doing well for the months from new years to aprill. In aprill my roomates girlfriend came home and told me she was talking with her and the girl said she loved me. My heart sank into the floor and well i tried to avoid it but once again it plagued my mind. I hid all of this and for the last 16 months bottled it up. Last saturday i had a few drinks for the first time in 6 months, i found myself not stopping and abusing it again bottles after bottles of straight. Then i snapped and everythin i have been feeling just came out to everyone i live with. They all texted her and said "u need go stay away from him because hes just started gettin good". Now she is texting me and talking to me more then ever, I love her i know i do. What should i do???