Horrble mess of own doing

OK, please give me your opinions on this horrible mess Ive created. Short piece on long story... I was married to a caring loving but pretty boring guy, same routine day in day out. Nine years ago I met this exiting guy online and we got together. I moved out of my home with my husband and started a relationship with this guy. He was so different from my husband, exiting, a real man, but somehow not so caring or compassionate. I,m sure he loves me in his own way but just not the way I,d like him to I guess. Anyway going back 9 years. I did not want to hurt my husband so made up some story about wanting space on my own. He never questioned it, being the lovely guy he is. I have lived like this for those past 9 years. My husband has no idea about this guy. I see my husband once a week, there's no sex or anything and he's quite happy with that. He just loves spending time with me. he has not had a relationship in all that time, just me. My new partner has no idea that I see my husband every week, he thinks I,m spending time with my daughter. Mess, I know.. Anyway I cant go on like this anymore, its driving me mad, all the lies. the thing is what do I do? Neither knows of the other, cant bear the thought of hurting either of them, but I'm at my wits end. Would welcome any input no matter how harsh

your living a lie and a double life. grow up and come clean. it sounds like neither man is good enough for you. your getting the emotional connection from your husband and everything else from your lover. its unfair to both of them.

you have a lot of growing to do especially emotionally. it would be a good idea to think about geting rid of both men and get counselling so you can work on you.