Men, does it make a difference if new partner has sons or daughter?

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16-06-13, 08:30 PM
alwayswondering

Men, does it make a difference if new partner has sons or daughter?

Hi bit of a lurker my first post. I would like some men's thoughts/opinions on this please just out of interest.

I was chatting to boyfriend other day and I mentioned that a mutual friend had told me she thought men were put off dating her because she has 4 children.
I asked him if he would have asked me out if I'd have had 4 children and he said as long as they were boys, and that no way would he have stayed over at the beginning if I'd have had a 14 year old daughter in the house. I have 2 sons youngest was 14 when we met. We are both mid forties.

I was going to ask him his reasoning for this but was interrupted by phone call. I asked him later on and he said he wouldn't have known how to communicate/get on with a daughter and that I would've have had to stop at his over a "fair while" (meaning nights at weekends)till he got to know her.

Personally it would be irrelevant if a new partner has sons or daughters as long as we got along.

So men do your actions/plans alter depending on if new partner has sons or daughters? Just seems to me boyfriends response was a little odd/OTT?

Thanks
16-06-13, 09:12 PM
vashti

I don't really care what HE is thinking; as the mother of a girl, *I* would be more cautious about bringing a man around the house.

Also, I want to point out that a lot of men are HARDER on "step" sons... something to watch out for...
16-06-13, 09:21 PM
alwayswondering

Yes I agree vashti about being more cautious with daughters. We've been together four years and boyfriend and sons get along very well. When I said beginning of relationship I meant after weeks/few months not days after meeting.
16-06-13, 09:25 PM
vashti

Well, in that case, I would rather deal with 4 boys than with 4 girls, too. Girls are WAY more complicated. (I have one of each.)
17-06-13, 05:14 AM
okwhat2013

I don't usually care if they kids bEcause I have children and that would be very hypocritical. However, I would prefer that she doesn't have children, and for the record, beautiful, perfect body, rich and just wants to travel around the world making love in 5 star hotels. It would be deal breaker for young guys with no children but if you are really into someone you don't usually let the other stuff get in the way.
17-06-13, 07:46 AM
michelle23

my three uncles are all stepdads to girls.
17-06-13, 03:33 PM
alwayswondering

I think it was the fact he was happy to stop over with 14 year old son there but said no way if it'd been a 14 year old girl that seemed a little odd to me. What's the difference?
17-06-13, 06:22 PM
michelle23

Quote:

Originally Posted by alwayswondering [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think it was the fact he was happy to stop over with 14 year old son there but said no way if it'd been a 14 year old girl that seemed a little odd to me. What's the difference?

It means that your bf has one rule for girls, another for boys and it is a red flag. Children are children and should be treated equally regardless of their gender and the same rules should apply.
17-06-13, 06:54 PM
alwayswondering

Quote:

Originally Posted by michelle23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It means that your bf has one rule for girls, another for boys and it is a red flag. Children are children and should be treated equally regardless of their gender and the same rules should apply.

What do you mean by red flag?
It was the way he said "no way" that made me question it. Its as if it would be inappropriate if he stopped over if I'd had a 14 year old daughter but it was ok to stop over because I had a son. As long as we'd been together for a while and the child got on with him why would the sex of the child make a difference if slept over or not?

Thanks for replies