Did my kiss turn him off?
Hi guys, I am totally new here, but I have such an odd question I need answers to! Will you help?
OK, so last night I had my third date with a guy. We live practically on opposite sides of the country (US), but both of our parents live in the same town, so that's how we met, about nine months ago. We have had our three dates several months apart as a result. We have always gotten along incredibly well, have a very similar sense of humor, laugh a lot, and seem attracted to each other. He also seems genuinely nice and kind, normal and sane.
On our second date, last autumn, he gave me a peck goodbye, but seemed nervous or awkward about it. He still contacted me after that date and seemed interested. He has stayed in touch and continued to show interest me. In fact, that's why we reconnected last week, because he was still trying to stay in contact with me. We randomly discovered we were both visiting our parents' houses again, so we decided to get together!
Anyway, we had our third date last night and it went very well. He talked to me a ton about his life, his work, his family, etc. We spent about three hours together, laughing and talking. The tail end of the date involved a couple of beers and a little food. He was acting very attracted to me in his smiles and his body language, engaging with me, smiling a lot, turning towards me in his chair. He also was talking about other times in the future when we would get together again. All seemed promising. Finally, he walked me to my car, we talked and laughed some more, and he kissed me goodbye.
The kiss was odd.
The way he kissed me was lackluster and lacking in passion. There was no attempt for a French kiss. It was very tame. I myself am a very passionate person, and I knew that some chemistry would have to be established with this guy if we were to try to continue down this path. So I tried to give the kiss a bit more enthusiasm, but did not breach that French kiss barrier. He wasn't giving me much back, keeping it very very tame. The whole thing lasted about 20, 30 seconds, mostly because I tried to prolong it. I let it go and didn't try to push for a more passionate kiss after that.
Then, my date scurried off to his car, we said casual goodbyes, and I haven't heard from him since. He hasn't texted to say he had a good time or would like to see me again, anything. It seemed like he was ready to run away!
As soon as I drove off down the road a little ways, I checked my breath. All seemed fine there. I don't know what happened. He was the one who leaned in to kiss me. I started thinking about it all this morning, and of the dozens of guys/men I've kissed in my life, no guy who has made the first move has ever seemed so "not into it." The men who have kissed me have always shown intense enthusiasm and, honestly, a desire to make out more or get more sexually involved as a result. I've been told by several men that I'm a great kisser.
I wonder if just, instantly, within the first few seconds, my date determined a lack of chemistry and didn't want to go for more? It was so odd. I've made out with some men in the past who, for the first 10 minutes or so, I felt that they had a sloppy or bad kissing style, but after keeping at it for a while, we adjusted to each other. I would never write someone off for a kiss within the first few seconds. It's too soon to make such a swift judgement about compatibility. Is it also possible that my perceived "enthusiasm" was a turnoff? The fact that I was trying to "give it a little more" meant that I was too into him and he just isn't into women who act that interested in him?
Maybe that's not what he was thinking at all. I don't know what he was thinking. But we went from having an exciting and fun third date and discussing future times hanging out with each other, to him leaning in to kiss me and seeming to lose complete interest within seconds. I think I may never hear from him again. Which is Ok, I guess, but i'm just baffled.
Again, I checked my breath and I think it was totally fine! What is up?
