Before i even begin my story, I will say that the guy involved has a girlfriend-commonlaw (not married), I KNOW it's a no-no. So please don't point out anything of that nature. Cuz I'm well aware that it is risky business romancing on a guy who is committed, and its blatantly obvious. What I really need to know is if this guy genuinely likes me and struggles OR if he's dogging me. I know, why would i want him if he's somewhat pursuing me while he has a girl. Well probably cuz HE's bored! NOthing is permanent and I think it's important to keep your man satisfied, clearly this is not what's happening or he wouldn't stray right??! So I met him though mutual friends. He has been with this girl for four years. I have to say off the bat, that i am not shallow but call it how it is. His girl can't cook, she aint no looker, she's kinda dude-ish, and sleeps... all the time> But i guess she has a good heart, so thats all that matters. I mean it must be that. Anyways me and mystery man have a very strong connection, physical, mental and emotional. We will spend hours on the phone talking, i mean hours about anything. When i first confessed my attraction to him, he asked if there was tension. I said "yes" after that, he admitted he also felt the same. That night we ended up making out pretty hard :-/, it could have led to sex but actually he rejected :-0. Ever since that night, we haven't lost contact. We only kissed once after that again, and it was several months ago. I tried to separate myself from him but he proposed we put feelings aside and be close friends. Needless to say that didn't work out. I have no idea how his GF feels, she is really nice to me. I do feel bad, but my feelings for him outweigh the guilt. cuz its a feeling i cant deny,no matter how hard I try. I like him ALOT, shit I think im even falling (in love) with him. BUT i swear he definitely helped put me in this position, he opened up to me so much and shows so much interest in who I am - its kinda hard not to fall., he constantly makes me feel so good about myself and tells me he wants me- but he wont take me?! He says i make him happy, i am getting mixed signals honestly. I cant even say I feel like he is in love with his GF, matter of fact he told me their sex life is "conservative" and he is "not sure if he chose the right one". When she is at work, we hang out sometimes. We have been alone a lot but nothing intense ever happens. Except he will lunge himself on my body and cuddle me like tight, like he never wants to let go. One time we were laying on the couch watching a movie and he was laying on my chest- he kept starring at my lips- I could feel it. BUT he wouldn't kiss me. he will only stay really close to my face- im like what the hell ???! he even fell asleep on me. I think of myself as a base pad that he always touches on- he texts me or calls every single day without fail to see if I'm doing ok. Does this mean im on his mind a lot- or that he is checking if im still "ready and waiting" lol... he tells me I have walls up but the quietness makes me feel like he is not telling me everything on his mind, speaking of minds- hes on mine when i go to bed, in the morning and most of the day.But i NEVER initiate contact , rather hardly ever. It is always him. he is the one who pushes. But at the same time He's holding out on me, do you think maybe he is just confortable where he is and doesn't trust me enough to let go of a big emotional investment, I thought guys went for what they wanted. I mean obviously he has to consider her feelings to. And about her, is she too trusting or just dumb?? or to confident, she knows when im over there. She's so comfortable she goes to bed and leaves us alone to hang. It's an awqward situation I know... I don't wanto sleep with him. It about soooo much more than that. I want him all to myself, forever. What the hell should i do????? disappear like houdini?? :-/ im good at running and detaching, but this ones a little hard.
