I'm 24 she's 21, been together 4 months. Always have a good time, good chemistry, I like her alot
she told me , 4 nights ago, she can see herself marrying me. How should I handle this? lol
Printable View
I'm 24 she's 21, been together 4 months. Always have a good time, good chemistry, I like her alot
she told me , 4 nights ago, she can see herself marrying me. How should I handle this? lol
Well.... it sounds like you both like each other and can discuss a long term commitment but if I were you I would not go rushing out to buy a ring or propose. Four months is not really a whole lot of time to get to know somebody well enough to take the plunge. Tell her that you feel the same way and that you are enjoying getting to know her and likewise could see the two of you getting married a few years down the road.
shes just daydreaming bout the future. dont worry about it. its not a promise or shes not asking you to propose. shes just imagining what your lives may be like if your still together in five or ten years. its normal when your all infatuated by someone to daydream bout these things. doesnt mean it will or wont happen. just enjoy what you have now and see how things go between you both
Use birth control, because next, she'll see herself having your babies ;)
Take it as a compliment. What she means is that she can envision a future where you and her end up as a happily married couple some day. It doesn't mean you need to get engaged or make any promises any time soon. In fact, at four months, she might find it a little creepy if you did propose. You still have things to learn about each other and more growing to do to together as a couple.
What you can start doing right now is to give some thought as to whether you feel the same way as she does. First of, do you even plan to get married some day? If so, does your girlfriend seem like the type of woman you'd like to end up married to, or is she just someone to have fun with? Make sure you give some thought to whether she seems like she'd be a reliable and responsible partner because those things are going to matter if you end up marrying her. If you really can't see yourself marrying her, then you should let her know. Otherwise, she's like to feel as though you were misleading her by not saying anything. On the other hand, if you can picture yourself marrying her someday, you can discuss that with her as well.
You can also take this time to start thinking and talking about when would be a good time to be engaged and married. How long do you think you need to date? How old would you like to be? Do you need to be financially secure first? What other things would you like to accomplish before you get to that point? What are things you want to learn about each other or questions you want to ask before you get married? I'd recommend making sure you've dated at least a year before getting engaged and at least two years before getting married. At least one study found that if you date for two years before getting married, your marriage has a much better chance of success than if you date for under two years.
The mistake a lot of people make when they're dating is viewing marriage as an all or nothing thing. They either think that if you like the idea of marrying somebody, then there's no reason not to get married straight away. Then they often rush into marriage only to find out afterward that being married to their partner isn't what they thought it would be and want a divorce. Or they recognize that it's too soon to make the commitment, so they don't want to discuss or think about it at all. Those couples often end up years later with one partner eagerly awaiting marriage and the other partner not feeling ready at all. That can cause a lot of conflict and problems in the relationship as well.
You can avoid both problems by recognizing that there are different levels of commitment. Commitment should be something that grows as you learn more about each and prove yourself to each other each day. As concerns or issues come up, you see whether they can be worked through or not. Then when you've had a long enough period of time of feeling confident about your partner and your relationship, you can move toward more serious levels of commitment. By recognizing and acknowledging that it's what you're doing, you'll save yourself a lot of hassle down the line. Good luck!
You are in the honeymoon period of your relationship where infatuation controls your thoughts and dreams. This type of talk is the norm, but don't worry, its only talk and should never be taken as a promise that its in the cards for you two.
After about a year she will snap out of it when she finally sees what kind of jerk you are because she found out that you were planning to dump her when she didn't tag you on FB when she was in NY.
How you should handle this depends a lot on how you see her. If you think there's not a snowflake's chance in hell that you'd marry her, then let her know now.Quote:
Originally Posted by kyleburt [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you can imagine marrying her and the thought is welcome, then just smile to yourself. But don't take this as a promise or even a plan - as the others said, this is a rush of feel good hormones talking. Just keep on having fun together and hope that it may come good for you one day.
Ruuuuuuuuuun!!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by kyleburt [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
lol what? me and my bf discussed these things early on. its basically "can we see a future together" if not whats the point dragging it out if you dont have the same goals.. he brought it up saying "how many kids do you want" and then randomly saying "i can see us getting married one day" lots of couples have those conversations. i would say its normal. it doesnt mean its gonna happen. its not a promise. just letting each other know that one day i wana get married and have kids and live in a nice house with a big garden. it may be with you if things work out..Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowen [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I guess you're right, but I've just never really experienced it in a good way... :S Last time a guy talked about whether or not we could be a married couple, it was after a week and he was cheating on me. Just seems a little too soon for me. If he had said 6 months, then I'd be fine with it.