Can Love Wait and Rejoice at a Later Time? "Right Love, Wrong Time"?
My boyfriend (21) and I (19) have been together for almost 2 years. The last 6 months have been pretty stressful because we've been arguing 24/7. My mom started to dislike him because she caught me crying one day and refused to let me see him so that caused problems as well.. plus I listened to people pushing me in telling me what he should do and what he shouldn't, which also triggered arguments between us. I became insecure and after I saw one of his close friends cheat on his girlfriend with my own eyes, I started to think that my boyfriend would do the same as well.. even though, deep down, i knew he wouldn't.
He couldn't handle it anymore and wanted to leave but he was afraid of losing me so he stayed. But we kept fighting and eventually he broke up with me and stuck to it. We decided to stay friends and fix ourselves before we try again, if we decide to, and hope that maybe later I wouldn't have to secretly see him behind my mom's back.
A few weeks after we broke up, we hung out for Canada Day, including his cousin and my best friend. We watched the fireworks and then went to the bar; at the bar he was looking into my eyes and wanted to dance with me, snuck kisses a few times, ...and it was just a great time! At one point, a guy called me over and tried flirting with me but my friend pulled me away because my ex seemed angry.. So I guess that's a good sign?!
But the next day we talked and he mentioned how it was so sweet that I kept looking in his eyes all night and that I looked great, etc. then we started talking about how we've been doing and he knows I'm trying to be strong and he wants me to love myself and be happy he keeps assuring me that he's still there for me and everything will be okay. He said if he could be serious with anyone, it would be me, but its just too much for him right now because he needs to get his life together and feels as though thus relationship gets him down and he stresses and forgets to fix the other problems in his life, like what he wants to study, etc.. I told him how it hurts that I can't get him off my mind despite how much I try to take care of myself, everything else in my life is going great, except for this relationship. This is all I need to have the perfect life I want. But unfortunately, reality doesn't work that way.... Anyways, so I told him how I felt and he said "I understand its hard but I'm not telling you it's the end of the world right now.. You never know what can happen later on. All I know is that it's just too much right now. Just forget about the break up and look forward, I'm not ready to be serious, give me some time. I'm still here, I haven't left your life. You're the only girl out there that I would hang out with like last night."
I believe him, but I'm afraid that if I let him go, that he won't come back. He always says "**** girls, they are all a headache, if anyone is worth the headache, it's you"...so I don't think it's for girls.. Plus he would be doing things by now if he was..
He was in school for engineering when we met, but he dropped out after the first year. I am going to school for medicine and I've helped him figure out what he likes and narrow it down to a career choice, he is choosing police, so we will be going to school together this September. I have been trying to help him with school and helping him make good decisions and being there for him because I really want to see him succeed and I know no one else is helping him out, but I'm worried that he will just forget me and he won't come back. I love this boy to the moon and back, have never felt this way about someone and wanted someone to succeed just as badly as I want to.
What should I do? Has anyone been in this situation before?
Thank you!
