Did I Do Something Wrong Or Am I Just Chasing After The Wrong Girl?

Tried to make this an easy read - hence the bullet points...

- I have been with my girlfriend for 2 months
- She is from another country in Africa (I'm a white guy in the United Kingdom)
- Before she met me I was a dreamer basically living off my rich Dad, and she inspired me to take my life more seriously, get a job, and be a better everything.
- However she goes back home in 6 months time but I really like her, we get on well, good chemistry and she is just WOW so beautiful. She is everything I would want in a girlfriend, I've even sang songs for her on Youtube.
- She is 24 I am 29, we have both been in serious relationships before.

However I think I may have ruined it all...

- After a few weeks of dating, I ended up buying her a gift of a watch, I couldn't afford it but I knew it would make her happy as she wanted to buy it herself
- The same night we went out to an event and I met some of her friends for the first time but halfway through she walked off holding hands with another guy right in front of me saying they were going to talk and she would be back in a bit - didn't introduce him or anything just walked off with him holding hands and came back 10 minutes later and said nothing.

As a note she wont hold my hand in public because she gets shy about it...

- This for me was very alarming as why would someone hold hands like that in front of their date.
- Later I happened to bump into the guy so when he walked past me by chance so I said a friendly hello, introduced myself and asked how he knew my date etc - but kept it very cool and friendly, and just said I was a friend of hers not her date.
- Turns out he was the cousin of her ex boyfriend back in Africa, and as far as he was aware they were still dating.
- GF got pissed that I didn't just ask her who he was, and was concerned that I might have damaged her reputation as a 'good girl' and also reassured me that they weren't together anymore, his cousin just didn't know this as she didn't tell many people.
- No damage was done to her rep though, the guy even liked me and started asking her when I'm next coming out cause he thought I was pretty fly for a white guy.

However she saw this as that I didn't trust her, but considering I didn't really know her yet how could I? AND what the guy said about still dating her cousin, didn't help... I didn't want to get played (happened before with another girl) and sometimes you cant always tell at this stage what type of person someone is until its too late and your heartbroken. I just told her listen its ok, don't worry I trust you, and things were ok for a bit

Days later she then started to bring up what happened again and started to say she likes the watch but cant wear it without thinking about what happened on the night I gave it to her and that I must only value her as much as the watch (£156 / $237) and I should take it back, but I told her to keep it.

This is not true I told her I would have done the same even if I had given her flowers or something, I simply didn't want to start falling for a girl who was a player, and I had to be sure for myself what was going on because I've been burned in the past, plus holding hands like that, walking off with no introduction is going to arouse suspicion in most people

- Eventually things were cool and we had a good few days/week.
- I even brought her flowers on another occasion, as she said she had never had them before from a guy and I thought it was all cool.

However I then messed up - see below

We tried to have sex for the first time a few days later and it didn't go well - long story short I couldn't get it up (how humiliating) and she thought it was cause I didn't find her attractive, but with me my equipment goes up and down all the time, and that's normal for me. If it ever normally happened in the past I would just use my tongue until I got hard again - she didn't buy this, got upset and left

Eventually we worked through that as I just told her I was nervous, and we tried to do it again a week or so later - same thing happened and this time she cried - she is so beautiful she could be a model so I doubt this has ever happened to her before, but for me it unfortunately happens a lot

- I have a condition called delayed ejaculation which means I cant come when having sex, yes when it does go up I can then go on for as long as I want and always satisfy a woman until she cant take anymore, but I also cant feel much pleasure personally because my equipment has been desensitized by masturbating with too tight a grip for years and years and looking at too much porn.
- Other effects include inconsistent erections and not always being hard.

The only way to cure it is to abstain from doing anything by myself for 90 days (including no porn) and only rely on a woman's interaction, and since I met her I had already managed to go 4 weeks as I wanted to fix myself for her so badly - this is quite hard for a guy to do, and I was often so hard and horny around her with clothes on that I thought I might be cured already - but no I wasn't and I failed to perform in the way she expected

In the end I just told her the truth, something I should have done before but was too embarrassed to say and after a while she was ok with it. But it didn't help things because I should have trusted her enough to tell her after the first time or ideally before, particularly when we were starting to get really close and she opened up to me about a great deal of personal things yet I hadn't opened up to her about this (because I was too ashamed). She has trust issues with guys because men have been horrible to her throughout her life as well as ex boyfriends, cheating, so for her to open up to me was such a big deal and I ruined that for her even though I told her my other secrets, just not that one as I thought it wouldn't happen

- Things then went great for the next two weeks and she also let me please her with oral sex (which she loved), we didn't have sex because to fix my condition I was supposed to avoid it for a bit, but I was now hard virtually all the time with her, which was a sign I was on the road to recovery and more relaxed around her so sex was going to be happening very soon.
- She helped me improve my personal situation, I was working harder, going to job interviews and making big changes forward. So I was really happy with her, I was making more money, I couldn't fault her.
- She told me how I would be a great full time boyfriend for her and she would be proud to call me her man, we even talked about me moving to her country - it was great.

However here is when things changed... She started playing pranks on me, including one where she pretended that she was going out by herself with another couple and their male 'friend' to a party and she wanted to wear the sexiest dress possible just to see how I would react. I did the right thing and said I trusted her and have fun, and she came clean about it saying it was just for fun (to my relief), so I did ok there lol.

- I did a prank to get back at her where I pretended to be outside her house one time, but then she got me back in the same way another time - so it was relatively harmless, but she was much better at doing it than me and dragging it out for longer so I said I give up cause I was getting owned.

But then things started to get really messed up

- She then started saying how she wanted to be more of a bad girl and wanted to have fun for the last 6 months whilst she was here, drinking, smoking, going out grinding with guys in clubs, and kissing them in the moment if she felt like it, and there was a big group of guys inviting her out to parties of which one of them had her number and started texting her alot, and she wanted to go out and drink with them - but wouldn't have sex with other guys. She just wanted to party as she hadn't done any in the last 4 years she had been here.

Because of this she said maybe we should spend some time apart until she has got it out of her system. Which I did actually understand, because a lot of people often feel the need to do that.

At first I said ok you do what you want to and I will even stay with you because I still want to be together

- But after I started feeling incredibly worried about this as most people who start off like this end up being cheated on, and I was now starting to question things like her going shopping in town with a male friend. I knew then it wasn't going to work that way.

After talking to my older married and very experienced relationship friend for advice, he told me to stand my ground for something like this because its not like your stopping her from going out or from wearing whatever she wants to wear, its not an unreasonable thing to expect someone not to grind and kiss other guysSo I told her No - If you really want me, you cant be grinding and kissing other guys as that is basically cheating and I wouldn't do that to a girlfriend so I don't want it done to me and thats not the type of person i want to be with

At this point she told me she didn't want me and dumped me

- I was so upset I had been dumped I cried, and just felt awful.

At this point I then figured if she is going to want to go out and behave like that and just cast me aside then I might as well just get the watch back, at least I will get to see her one last time that way and as she said she didn't want it anyway nor wear it so I might as well have it back (man logic here...)

- Eventually I went round to see her to pick up the watch and she told me it was all a joke and that she didn't want to grind and kiss at all. Yes there was another guy texting her and inviting her out to party but she had no interest in him, and if she went she wouldnt behave like that and she was surprised I believed her.

But why would I assume she wasn't telling the truth, I'm not that type of person, am I gullible or something...?

- She did then say sorry and we patched things up, but then tried to be upset at me for speaking to my friend for advice and not keeping or personal stuff private and for also wanting to take the watch back because I obviously didn't value her that much.
- After an hour or so we were cool again.

The next day we did also talk about what might happen when she goes home and we might not see each other so to bear that in mind, so I told her right now we don't have to think about it but I know it will come up later. Anyway... later that day whilst on my way to see a friend she started messaging me again saying how much she missed me, and I started to think it was ok again for real this time

- But then she starting asking about if I was serious about wanting the watch back and had I asked ex's for watches back, I said you made me cry when you dumped me so i was just really upset and I would only ask for something back from someone who wasn't a good girlfriend.
- She told me she wanted to pay me back for the watch and anything else I had bought for her and how much the total cost was.
- I didn't want to talk about it right now with her, but she was insistent so I told her, ok you can if you want to, thinking maybe she felt bad for making me cry or something and making up the whole dumping me thing.

But instead she then just told me I wasn't her ideal man and dumped me again, but said it was serious this time, and so I just said fine whatever and went round to see her to get the watch back rather than the money as she didn't have it. At this point I was still emotionally numb for crying yesterday but I still just wanted to see her more than anything.

When I arrived she wouldn't let me in and just tried to give me the watch at the door, but I asked her for an explanation as to why she was doing this, to which she initially refused to give

I actually got annoyed with her at this point and just told her how the value of the watch has nothing to do with how I feel about her, i couldn't even afford the watch properly at the time but still got it, which she didn't know. She had just dumped me I was upset, I was just being an ass and using the watch as an excuse to see her one last time. That I'm crazy about her, I want to be with her. But also that pretending to dump someone is also really weird - why would you do that? And I basically stopped being a needy bitch put her in her place for doing all the stuff to me that she did including getting defensive about me originally speaking to the guy she held hands with. Yes I made some mistakes myself during this, but what she did with pretending to dump me was not necessary at all

- After a while she allowed me to follow her inside up to her room, but started to cry when got there.

She was quiet at first but then eventually said she didn't want to get attached to someone whilst she was here and didn't want to get heart broken when she goes

- I told her how much I want to be with her and we can work something out, she could even date other people back home and I could still come and visit her or something, its not like I wouldn't be able to afford to do that as i have a trust fund maturing soon (plz dont hate me). But she tried long distance with her ex BF back home and it didn't work out.

The watch came up again and she told me how she would never ask for a gift back, so because I was doing that it was really bad of me, but I just said this watch is no good anymore, you don't want it and its caused so many problems, I would much rather just get rid of it and make or do something for you instead that you cant put a price on because nothing can amount to what you mean to me, but instead she just got her money out and gave me some cash for the flowers

- Just before I left I asked her does she still want me, she said yes and still wants to see me this Friday, but I know that I have messed up by asking for the watch back and taking it with me but i just want to get rid of it as it causes so many problems.

I tried to contact her today just to say hope your ok but she has switched her phone off and just has her status as

''Everything happens for a reason and I'm glad this was sooner rather than later :(''

She might decide to still see me, I don't know, am I a bad person? Maybe she needs time to cool off and think about things. Did I do something wrong or am I chasing after the wrong girl? I feel so confused, I've never been this into someone before, I can understand it from her point of view but I feel like I'm going to lose my best friend and I just want to be able to still have her in my life as when she is good, she's perfect...