Getting mixed signals from a girl I have been hooking up with, not sure where I stand
Hi everyone,
I am a 26 year old male and have been hooking up with the same girl off and on for 2 or 3 years now. I am constantly in and out of the country for months at a time so I am unable to take on a serious relationship at the moment. She knows that and has expressed before that she also is not interested in a relationship. We haven't stated clearly to each other that we are just going to be hook up buddies but it was my understanding that it was inferred. Every time we have gone out with each other it has lead to us hooking up. Until recently...
About 4 months ago, I was back in town for a couple weeks and hit her up to meet up for drinks. She agrees- we meet up and eventually I ask her back to my place. She was reluctant because she had to meet up with some friends but eventually agreed, not before exclaiming that "we cant have sex" though. I thought it was a little odd that she would say that out of the blue, but she came over nonetheless and one thing lead to another. Next thing I know were both naked after a round of strip pool. Now I am thinking we are definitely about to have sex, but she was standoffish every time I approached her. I didn't want to be pushy so I decided that if she wanted to make the move she would, but ultimately nothing happened. She explained to me that she had just gotten out of an off and on 10 year relationship that I actually had no idea was going on. She felt like the guy was just using her for sex and after talking to another one of her guy friends about the problem, she started to think that no guys were actually her friend but only wanted to have sex with her. It put me in an awkward spot because well, it looked exactly like I was doing. Although I do have feelings for this girl, she knows that a relationship wouldn't work out with us at the moment. At the same time however we are more than just friends. It seemed to me like she knew that and actually wanted to hook up, but didn't out of the principle of the whole thing. After she left, I just kinda sat there wondering what just happened. Oh well, I had to leave the country the next day so I never really got to talk to her about it.
I arrived back in town just a few nights ago and called her to hang out again. She was excited to hang out and we ended up meeting at a local club. We were getting drinks together, flirting with a lot of touching, and dancing provocatively with each other. Again, I thought for sure we are going to have sex tonight. I ask her if she wants a ride back but she said she was going to ride home with her brother who was also there. I try convincing her to come with me, but she is still reluctant and I end up going home by my lonesome. I get a text from her on the ride back however saying that "its not that I didn't want you to drive me home" and that it was out of respect for her parents not to have people over after a certain time (she still lives with her parents). I thought it was odd because she has had me over on a few occasions late at night with her parents home. Apparently her brother and his girlfriend have been having issues with her parents and I dont know the details but she said that was the reason why. So here I am again, sitting here wondering what just happened...
I wanted to ask your advice on the situation because I am really having trouble figuring out whats going on. Of course I still want to see her, but at the same time I don't want it to be strictly on a friendship level. I have been thinking about talking to her tomorrow and just asking straight up whats going on between us and what she wants to happen between us. I have never had much success being completely open with women so I am a little hesitant to do so, but I feel like clearing the air here is the best option. Should I try to go about it any other way?
