Getting used to a normal relationship, opinions and need to vent!
After being with an abusive man for so long, i finally got the help i needed and left. I havnt been depressed or ridden with anxiety ever since, i did lots of soul searching and felt like i had made a REAL change in my life. I feel like almost a brand new person and i am absolutely loving life for the first time in 5 years or so.
6 months ago i started dating a friend of mine, he asked me out on a date and we have spent every day together since and we fell into place SO very easily. At first i was scared and felt it was too good to be true, then we moved in together after around 4 months of dating. It was very soon, but we spent every night together and it made sense for us since he lived in a different town.
Things became even better since we lived together, we don't argue, he never raises his voice to me or swears, if we have a disagreement we just talk it out together and i know he would never hurt me the way my ex ever did.
Is it strange we dont argue at all? Should there be some balance? I am so used to fighting every sentence that this seems almost unreal..
I am in love with this man and feel so appreciative for everything he does for me i just dont feel the need to ever complain or get on his back about anything, yet when i sometimes talk to my friends and il mention he went out, or is with the guys, they make comments about the fact i let him get away with too much and that he is walking all over me. Yet im kinda happy when he does other stuff, i like my alone time too.
It just got me wondering, sometimes i get scared that iv lost my passion for relationships since my ex, or maybe that i am too much of a pushover. Im not sure. lol
Getting used to a normal relationship, opinions and need to vent!
Thanks for the replies, I didn't think we needed to fight and really glad we don't! It's just listening to other friends and wondering if I should be okay with the things he does, like going out drinking with friends, going out fishing etc.. I think that kind of stuff is important so that he appreciates his time with me more than he would if we were together constantly.
He is good to me and I feel he has taught me so much about being with somebody.. So maybe I should stop over thinking things :D
Getting used to a normal relationship, opinions and need to vent!
Thank you everyone for your replies and sorry mine took so long :)
I am so glad we don't argue, to this day we have never shouted at each other once and always peacefully end a disagreement.
I think maybe my friends are a little jealous, their relationships at this time aren't going so well, she has been with her boyfriend for 4 years and he refuses to move in with her, when I told her we were talking about moving in she said I was insane and moving way too fast, I think we did move fast but as I said it really didn't make sense for us to be paying 2 monthly rents and he was staying at my house every single night and that's how we like it..
My best friend is the one who usually has things to say about him going out. But she is in a bad relationship too.. Her husband constantly lies to her and puts her down. We used to lean on each other as we were both in very bad relationships before and I think maybe she misses that. I still try to be there for her all the time though.
I personally don't think he goes out too much. He is pretty homely like myself so if he does go out with his friends I'm happy he's having fun :) he also always calls or texts when he goes out to check we are okay and to let me know what he's doing so I really appreciate it and just have no reason to worry, I'm so very happy with everything right now !!
I never thought I'd be able to trust another man since my ex. Now I'm out of it I didn't really realize how bad it was.. And now I am with someone who treats me like a human being I am amazed I even stayed for so long.
One thing that is sometimes on my mind. Is we don't have sex very much. We did in the beginning but now we live together it has slowed down to a couple times a week. Is this normal for a couple?
I had to go to counselling after my last relationship and I discovered I had very self destructive sexual behaviour. My ex partner wanted to have sex every day a couple of times. Anal, blow jobs.. I did it for him at first reluctantly but then it became sort of routine and I was used to a very intense sex life. I used to wake up to him doing things to me or other times he would wake me up and start having sex..
My now partner isn't like that. We will have sex and I love it, it's just not as intense for me.. And he won't pester me for it but sometimes it makes me feel like he's not sexually attracted to me.
I know that before it wasn't normal, but from such an intense sex life to a couple times a week making love it is quite the transition.
I asked my partner about it, and he said he's just not as crazy about sex as I am and he is happy just being with me and cuddling. Lol it's just that I feel like I want it from him lots and he doesn't make the move..
It's not a huge problem, just sometimes on my mind and I worry lots. Lol :)
3 times a week normal for a couple living together?
Thank you!!