Can A Girl Give Me The Marriage I Want? I really need your opinions on this.
Well, I'm 20 years old and I'm in college in New York. I've never been kissed in my life and I've never been able to be in a relationship (I liked a few girls every now and then but they never went anywhere).
[Well its my fault I guess because I'm not exactly physically attractive probably because I'm a little bit on the weighty side. I also have a bit of a hormonal imbalance and thus have man boobs as well.. HAHA there's your answer right there ^_^]
But the thing is, what I really want most in life is true love. I absolutely whole heatedly believe in it. Every now and then I wake up motivated to lose weight and seek solutions but every single day I feel hopeless and disappointed.
All I think about is my future wife (whoever she may be). I think about how I want to think about her 24/7. I think about how we will go to six flags on the weekends, go to the beach, go abroad. How I would surprise her every day and how whenever I come back home from work, we would run towards each other and embrace each other and I would lift her and spin her (just like the movies haha typical. I know.) Preferably, I would even love it if she worked with me at the same place so that we don't have to be apart (although I know its healthy to not ALWAYS be together). I would do EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING for her. I will love her to death. The thing is, when I was younger I used to think about suicide all the time. I felt like there was just no point to life. But I came out of it thinking about how good my life would be once I find my true love. The thing is, I came out of it ONLY because of her and the only reason I am living right now is because I don't want to take myself away from her.
Lets admit it, even fat guys like me can get laid with a girl whose drunk enough at the bar. But I don't go to the bars because I've already made a commitment to my future wife and I would NEVER EVER do anything to break her heart. The only reason I am alive is because of her. I absolutely want my life to revolve around her and she would ALWAYS come first no matter what. To be honest, if I could, I would just hang out with her all day long and not even care about work or ANYTHING ELSE. The only reason I would even get a job is because I want to support her and I want to bring her gifts whenever I can. As freaky as this will sound, I even hope that we die together at the same time because I know that I would not be able to handle her death (nor would she be able to handle mine). I want us to go to heaven together and be with each other forever. Although I haven't been praying recently, but whenever I do, I pray to God to help me find my true love and I pray that our love for each other would be something that this world has never seen, that it would never fade. I would NEVER let my love fade. If I ever even feel doubts I would go to a relationship expert and fix it up. I want my first girl to be my last and I wouldn't let it be any other way.
My marriage with my soul mate will transcend the bounds of human commitment. She really does mean everything to me. Believe me when I say this, there is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING more in life that I want other than true love. Its the only thing I want.
But the only thing I want from my wife, is that she would love me back the same way (and hopefully even more if that's possible).
But each day I live, I feel more disappointed. All the girls I see, almost 99% of them only care about their careers and where they want to be. If someone asks me what I want most in life or what I'm aiming for, my answer is simple - to find true love and be happily married. But NO ONE I know of, feels the same way.
I see girls cheat on their husbands and boyfriends and then go in and out of relationships as if they were changing clothes. I feel like one cares about love and commitment anymore.
No one I know would be willing to let their life revolve around me the way I want to let mine revolve around hers.
I always keep my commitments and I will do EVERYTHING to keep my promises to my wife. So I do believe true love does exist from my part. But I want to know if any of YOU would PERSONALLY do the same as I would or feel the same as me. I know there is a girl somewhere out there, but I need to REALLY know that there are people like that out there. I just need some hope right now that's all.
So I guess this is the best place to ask. Would anyone of you here be willing to do everything for your husband, that I am willing to do for my wife? Would anyone of you be able to love your husband the same way I would love my wife? Would you let your life revolve around hers?