need some advice < confused
Hi everyone,
All I'm looking for is some advice. I have talked to multiple people. And pretty much all that was said was be patient or move on. All the common things people usually say.
About myself. I have had 2 serious relationships. 1 lasting for almost 2.5 years and the other one I'm going to talk about now.
But Ok to keep a long story short I will give a little background of how I know this girl and what my situation is with her.
For the duration of the story ill refer to my ex as A.
So me and A have known each other all our lives. My family knows A's family, and we would go to each others family functions. She is not related to me in any way. More of a family friend. I liked her and she liked me as we grew up but never actually did much. Just stared at each other from across the room and said only a bit when speaking to each other. Almost like That little crush you had on the girl sitting in front of you in class type of scenario. As we got older me being in my first year of college and A about to graduate high school, I said to myself why not actually try for her now. So I started talking to her, actually trying to get to know her and everything. Oh and a side note before I did start talking to her she was in a relationship about 3 or 4 months back and they went out almost a year. Anyways it kicked off pretty fast. About a month later we got into a relationship. Our chemistry was off the charts. Did pretty much everything together. So about 4 months into the relationship A talks to me and hits me with some news. She says that she doesn't love me the way I love her. Idk but I started balling in front of her. I know shouldn't of done that but I was in love with the girl. Actually still am. Anyways she said she would stay and see if we can fix it and I accepted that about another month or so it seemed like it got better. She would be cold and hot with me. So I just decided to end the relationship because I couldn't handle her not showing that affection that was there in the beginning of the relationship. Basically a mutual break up. We both decided to stay friends. I am still mot sure of the reasons why A just fell out of love for me, thought about it a million times, but ive let that go so lets move on.
So now about 3 years have passed, I'm not going to go into full details about anything in those years for the sake of time to read this. But basically we hung out several times. She pissed me off a couple times. So I just never talked to her at months at a time until she would hit me with can you forgive me. I wouldn't answer her until we unexpectedly saw each other and I forgave her. So we became cool but I never really payed her no attention still. Just say hi and bye never really had full convos. Now after the 3 years. I'm 22 and she just turned 21 not to long ago. We've actually hung out a couple time since her bday and this is where I'm really confused and idk what to do. When we hung out she would be kinda flirty. I would flirt back but most of the time it was just chit chat and the night ended well. So me trying to see where she is taking this, asked her to go out for sushi one night and we talked at length about anything and everything. A then invited me to her dads bday party at a bar. I went, had some drinks with her, and we danced. A actually got pretty flirty, and started to dance pretty close, she grabbed my ass a couple times and ended up grinding on each other. At the end of the night or when we pretty much got done dancing she gave me a hug, and kissed me on my neck. I didn't pay much attention to it and just hugged her back and said I had a good time. The night ended really good. So during the couple days after we text and had great convos. But now all of sudden she only hits me with short answers. When I see her in person she is nice and talks like there is no tomorrow but then also doesnt seem interested, only as a friend to be around. She hasn't had another boyfriend since me, but I do know she has talked to some guys since then too but they were only for short periods of time and nothing serious.
At this point these mixed signals she's giving me is confusing the shit out of me. And I don't want to be the one to ask her "so where do we stand" type thing because I wasn't the one who actually ended the relationship even though it was mutual. It should be on her to initiate that but then again I'm not sure if I should initiate that because knowing A she usually doesn't take initiative in that sort of thing. Meaning the man should be the one to go chase her instead of vice versa.
I want to ask her straight out about the situation and how she feels about me but I feel if I do that it's just going to scare her away. And I don't want that. I want another chance with her, idk if its my pride or what not, but I just feel if she wanted to be with me she would do that.
Any advice would help. Especially with the mixed signals.
Thanks!
