What is happening to me?

I'm so confused. I feel so up and down some times, some times it goes away and some times it comes back, but lately I've been feeling like breaking up with my boyfriend. I'm not sure if there is a specific reason that I'm feeling this or maybe the spark has just died? Last week we seemed great, we even had a lot of sex, but the last few days I feel the exact opposite. It doesn't help that I haven't really been enjoying the sex lately... Although, some times I do? This is exactly what I mean. I feel so disoriented... If I truly wanted to be with him, would I be having these doubts? I can't even pin point where the doubts are coming from.. I try and think up a reason as to why I would even want to break up with him, and I can't think of anything? From the outside we are the perfect couple... and even sometimes I feel that way myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm just trying to sabotage myself and my relationships. Every serious, long term relationship I've been in, I have been the one to end it. I feel like I should be appreciating what I have and enjoying it (even though, sometimes I do). We have a lot in common, we get along, we have similar values and ideas as to where we want our life to go. We have the same wants and opinions about kids, marriage, family... What the hell is wrong with me? It's gotten to the point where I'm almost sick with anxiety about it. Last night before bed |I almost broke up with him on the spot. But then this morning there were a couple things about him that made me smile and made me think, wow, I am crazy for wanting to throw this away... I'm so damn confused, I don't think I've ever been this confused about a possible break up before. In the past I have always known what I want, and done what made me happy....