Advice on getting back with ex?
To sum it up, me and my ex were together for 3 years and she broke it off. Its been a little over a month now and she decided she really does want me and wants to get back together and make things work. During the breakup she told me how her feelings for me had changed and she wasnt "in" love with me but still loved me. How we werent right together and all this. Now she that she wants to get back together she just makes it seem like I should forget all the things she said while we were separated.
She got mad when I told her I want to be together but I'm hesitant because of the things she told me. She said "well if your not going to give me a chance than we might as well not get back together" but thats not it. I told her I just need sometime to just see how things go with her. She joked about buying a house and I told her I didnt want to do any thing committed right now with her because I wanted to take it slow. Which see got upset at also.
She was seeing this other guy while we were broke up and they had a small trip planned (her idea) but then she decided she didnt really like him and would rather go with me so she broke it off with him and we went on the trip together. That is how we kinda got back together. We had a very good time and everything was pretty normal again. Im just so hesitant to have her back because of what she told me her feelings were during our break up.
What do I do? I want her back but my trust in her feelings has been very hurt by all this.
Re: Advice on getting back with ex?
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"I love you but I am not IN love with you" means I have a new dude who makes me get butterflies and you don't anymore. She broke up with you coz she was likely after meeting someone new. She dated him for awhile, the butterflies went away and she realized that you make her happier.
I have a no tolerance policy for this kinda s**t. Ever hear the saying "never leave the one you love for the one you like"? Well that is exactly what she did and she doesn't deserve a second chance. She doesnt understand the difference between infatuation, lust and love either and shes not worth it
I know but I feel like giving her a second chance because she genuinely seems like she knows that she wants to be with me now.
Re: Advice on getting back with ex?
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Without getting into all the speculation bullshit as to what your woman did or did not do while apart I will just lay it out in a simple manner. Sometimes when people are in a long term relationship things can become a bit mundane and we kinda become a bit indifferent to how good we actually have it and start wondering what it would be like to be with other people. Sometimes cutting loose like your woman did for what she perceived as "greener grass" can actually strengthen your relationship and make them realize how good they had it and want it back. If she has truly seen "the light" and wants to come back it really could be a benefit to your relationship. There is nothing wrong with second chances. She may know for sure now that she wants you and this could be why she does not want to take it slow. Taking it slow however is probably best. But.... taking it slow can mean many different things to different people. My idea of taking it slow would be to not immediately move back in together (maybe wait a month) and when you do, do not make any major financial commitments together until you are both completely sure that you are indeed going to stay together. I would simply explain to her what your version of "taking it slow" is and that it does not mean that you are not committed but rather that you just want to take the proper steps so you don't have a repeat of what caused the original problem.
The bottom line is simple. Its your relationship and only you can decide what is right for you regardless of anything anybody tells you here. You just need to decide if your life is better or worse with her and make a decision on how you want to proceed.
This is the best advice I can have I think. She told me that same thing the relationship became dull and we have talked about ways to make it more exciting again. I do think this could strengthen our relationship because we both saw what we were missing. I definitely don't want to do any financial commitments because its still a little unstable but I do think we can work it out. Thank you horndog.