Girlfriend going away to college and wants to party.

Hi everyone,

My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. I'm 20, she's 18, and I love this girl to death. When we were still in Highschool everything was great, we'd see each other daily and I'd walk her to classes etc. It was just great. When I graduated, things didn't change much because I enrolled in a local community college and most days I'd pick her up from school and we'd go out to have lunch together and I'd see her after classes at night. It wasn't the same but I was still very happy with our relationship.

Fast forward one more year - June 2013. She graduates Highschool and wants to enroll and move away to Rutgers University (An hour drive away.) The distance isn't too bad considering what I've read online, so I consider myself a little lucky in that regards. Anyways, I'm blabbering. Back on topic: I admit that I consider myself a clingy, but loving boyfriend. I love it when we cuddle in bed, I love it when we kiss for no good reason, and I love it when we send each other random 'I love you' texts during the day. I like to think she loves those things just as much as I do.

About a week ago she dropped a bomb on me and told me that "I will be going to parties in college, at least 3 a month" and later on she flew another by me "I would try Molly if the opportunity came up, yeah." She tells me she wants to get the 'College experience'. When she tells me this, I quietly freak out to myself in my head and play it cool to her. All these thoughts start racing through my head 'I've never seen her completely drunk, how will she act?' 'Guys will be hitting on her' 'Molly makes people horny, why would she take it without me there if she loved me?' It goes on. I can't sleep that night, I lay on my bed staring at my ceiling with all these worries flying in my head for hours.

The next day I tell her how I truly feel, all the worries that I have in my head. She suggests we become 'Friends with benefits'. I'm shocked - in disbelief, I never even thought of that as an option and the fact she would even bring it up means that she has given it some thought. Is she already over me? Does she want to push me away? I don't want to lose her, that is my biggest fear. I love her so much. I don't know what to think anymore.

That was yesterday and I'm still reeling from it. She leaves in 3 days and I don't know what I'm going to do, what I'm going to say, how I'm going to act. I need advice, or at least someone to be honest to me about my situation.

Thank you for reading my long story, it really means a lot although I wish what I wrote was just fiction.

TL;DR: Clingy boyfriend is not ok with college bound girlfriend going to parties, taking drugs, etc. She suggests we become friends with benefits. My biggest fear is losing her.