It hit me more than usual today...
Today I got an invitation to an awards ceremony for local artists in my area. The invitation is for myself and a +1. I got excited and started shopping around online for dresses and shoes but then, it hit me... I don't have a date. There's absolutely no one I could ask to be my date for this awards show. I'm usually the strong female type. Independent, outspoken, and I don't let anyone get me down. However, for some reason, today when I realized that I didn't have a date I started crying my eyes out. It started as a simple "damn, I don't have a date for this thing" to "damn, I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life!." Pathetic and stupid, I know but I've been getting more sensitive about this as time passes. I didn't use to care but now, it's all I think about as if I have some internal clock saying it's not normal for me to be single for this long and at this age. I guess, I've always thought that I'd find someone at this point in my life. I don't know what's wrong with me. Lately, whenever I think about my lack of love life, I get this deep, puncturing pain in my chest and the immense desire to cry. My heart is broken from not having anyone to love. Cheesy, I know but this is happening to me and it sucks. If anyone has any advice on how to deal, then reply. Please don't make fun of me, I've already done that to myself enough today. I can't believe I'm getting this way over not having a date but I can't help how I feel.