lost myself...

I'm absolutely lost in love and desire for my fiancee....

I feel like Ive totally lost myself. Im a professional and successful guy recently divorced after 23 years with ex.

I have this new young GF and Im absolutely infatuated with her.

We have only been able to be together about 30 days (but basically 24 hours a day for those days) out of the last 3 months since we met. I think the time apart makes it more intense.

When we are together we normally have sex 2-5 times a day..usually she initiates it...she says she loves sex...something Ive never experienced with a woman before..my ex was not that fond of it and once a week quickie was par for the course.....

.Im 47 (a young 47) and she is 21 and hot as hell......so far in this short relationship.....some days we do little else but lie around in hotels and make love.

I had not been with her for 3 weeks and arrived to see her Sunday. She would not even let me take a shower after 24 hours flying before pulling me down for love making.

Sadly the next day she got food po isoning and slowly got sicker over the past 3 days....took her to the doctor today and she got IV fluids and antibiotics...she has been sleeping all the time since last night....

Its 6 pm and this will be the first day out of 30+ days we have spent together that we have not made love.

I'm being 100% supportive and loving to her but inside Im absolutely going CRAZY.....I realize she is still tired and sick..but the idea of not making love to her today is driving me nuts.

Argh...Im so selfish....what is wrong with me...

Im in love too much.....I cant even stand to be in the room with her while she sleeps....

I really feel like Ive gone over the top.....Im too much in love and lust and Im afraid it cant end well.

She is foreign and Im trying to get a fiancee Visa for her so she can come to US for 3 months and we can see if we want to get married. Its in process already but its going to take 6 months.

Ive actually considered selling my business just so I can move over here and be with her all the time.

On the other hand we have never lived a day of "real life" together....and we have little in common other than physical affection and going out to eat!

What is wring with me...I think my genes are just controlling me and wanting me to make a baby.

Of, on top of it, I got HSV2 from her. She didnt know she had it...I do believe her on that.

Ive been having sex with her with no condom almost since the beginning . She does not like them.

She is not pregers as of today got the test...thinking that might be the cause of the nausea.

Im even thinking Id be happy if she was pregnant.

On the other hand there are so many things wrong with her and the potential relationship I cant even begin to list them!

What is wrong with me....why am I infatuated? I love sex with her so much...she is amazingly fun. She is so sweet compared to my ex....(who was an ice queen).....


ARGH! I love this and hate it at the same time...each time I come to visit her Im terrified that for some reason she wont show at the airport!

this will fade. infatuation always does. your nt in love, just lust. whats hpv2?

That's disgusting.

Well, she already burned you, so you may as well keep her around. She's 21, don't be a moron. Enjoy it for what it is..great sex with a hot 21 year old. Don't get attached. She's likely been ****ing other people those 60 days you have not been together. Talks of getting married are just silly.

She's probably trying to **** him senseless so the stupid fart will have a heart attack and then she'll help herself to his credit cards.

Or marry him to get in the country. Funny how ignorant a man can turn when a hot sex fiend is put in ffront of him.

All good answers I suppose.

Of course it would be impossible for her to be honest or have real feelings right?

Because she is young and foreign she must have all sorts of other motives besides genuine feeling, she must be sleeping around, ONLY want a visa (for what she would do with it alone in the US I have no idea) etc etc.

Ok, assuming Ive considered all that....about 1000x.....yes other guys have gone after her and I know about this. Ive seen the text messages and refusals. I can see her phone, email, and texts, I can see her phone on GPS all the time. So unless she has a second phone that she hides from me, and is a genius and juggling it all....no other guys..so far. Yes before I came along, many.

She lives with her mother when Im not around. I am fortunate to be quite well off ...so I already give her everything she could want.....including house for her mom, car, credit card, etc...its not a huge big deal for me.....lucky I guess.

Crazy....yes but Its not out my realm of ability so why not?

Some guys spend much more on a ring and certainly a wedding.

She has no need to steal from me, only ask.

Hum....

Mainly I think she has legit feelings....a person can tell these things....some things are hard to fake for extended periods of time. But anything is possible, and there are psychopaths in the world for sure.

the real question does not revolve around money for me...its a issue of what is best for ME....Ive already done all I can for her and I feel no guilt or obligation.

I think for a guy like me, who is just crazy about young ladies, I should go the sugar daddy route for a few years and just have a string of young ladies...knowing that they at least start off wanting me for money....it makes it so much easier than trying to be a PUA etc....forget it.

And see if that is fun for me or not. If its not then fine, Ill be waiting for "real love" anyway...whatever that is anymore I dont know. I thought I had that with my ex, but it was not just got worse after 23 years not better and the sex was terrible.

How do I detach myself from love and desire for this one?

If I ask myself the real truth, Im really interested in the sex and Im really interested in the company.

She gives me those things (when not sick like today and yesterday from food poisoning)....but if she stopped giving me a lot of sex....the answer is I dont think
I would care much for her.

So that is not love?

I dont know.....without good and frequent sex I dont see much comfort in a relationship.

Just talking.

This awesome!! We so needed something like this.

Let's recap:

1 - she's foreign
2 - she's 21
3 - she's given you herpes (have you gotten an HIV test?)

Um...did you meet her in Bangkok? Because I'm virtually certain you're seeing a hooker.