Giving up on her..

there is this lovely girl which i still have feelings for that i work with, we have known each other for a long time now.

the first little while she was shy after her 3rd month of working with me she got comfortable

after a little more time we started hanging out and i was making her laugh being an awesome person but also dropping hints that i had a thing for her. she took the hints and started flirting back and she also initiated the physical contacts first

dates and cuddles movies and games.

on the day i was going to tell her how i felt about her and how much i wanted a relationship with her Even got her a necklace with a purple heart shape in it. purple being her favorite color and me going to 3 different stores to find the perfect one
another guy caught her attention but i proceeded to give her the necklace and tell her how i felt. it was a wonderful moment and she loved the necklace. but i knew something was up when she took it and put it in her work locker

not even a week later after constantly trying to communicate with her confused and lost. She... starts... a relationship with another man.

I feel like i have just been shot in the heart and left to die. it really hurts

and the most painful thing is seeing her wear the necklace everyday.

Wow she sounds like a terrible person and is in no way worthy of your time and energy. She led you on and then started seeing someone else without even communicating this to you. Of course feelings change and this other guy may have just swept her off her feet so to speak, but that's no reason to treat you like dirt and not even tell you. Move on, you are way to good for her!
Don't see the necklace as painful...look at it as a reminder that you are a better person than she is!

If you do not stipulate your intentions right at the start, you will find yourself in this position. You can never assume it's a relationship just because you spend time together. Anyways if it is not official then she is fair game. I am guessing she thought it was casual, and realized it was more to you when you gave her a necklace.

IMO you should never invest time, gifts or feelings unless you are offically in a relationship. Necklace or any jewelry should come after you hear the words "I love you".

***note: it is not recommended dating co-workers for this very reason.

I have empathy for the feeling I imagine you would have every time you see her with the necklace on. Its like ripping off a band-aid over and over. :( Ouch.
I feel for you. Its sad that she was not mature enough to communicate to you that she did not have the same feelings, and wrong of her to take the necklace if she knew that's how she felt.
Nonetheless, every broken heart teaches you something, hopefully this doesn't leave you bitter, but teaches you to protect yourself a little more in the future.
hold your boundaries stronger, and only let down your guard when you are more certain. It will save you money, and future heart ache.
Time heals all wounds, its just going to take a little longer seeing as though you work with her, and I totally agree with smackie9 stay away from co-workers in the future. unfortunately you always learn to co-worker rule the hard way.

Take care.

thanks, i understand i never really believed all that don't date co-workers cause quite a few of them actually went into a relationship. but i see now it was a stupid mistake.

Well it doesn't matter if they do go into a relationship....it's dealing with it when things go sour and you have to see each other the next day at work. When working for a big company it's even worse, with everyone gossiping and getting involved.

I feel for you. You sound like a lovely guy but have invested too much too soon with this girl, both emotionally and with the gift. If she knows how you feel about her, and continues to wear this necklace while seeing another guy, she sounds pretty cruel and probably isn't worthy of you or your decency.

In her eyes I think that you were just a close friend, potential bf. But her interests went with another guy, your bad luck unfortunately. I would never date someone I worked with at all. If you don't quit your job, then you just have to man up and get over it, set your sights on a new girl, go on dates etc....

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Originally Posted by Gabe [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

thanks, i understand i never really believed all that don't date co-workers cause quite a few of them actually went into a relationship. but i see now it was a stupid mistake.

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Don't worry about it :) we all learn the hard way! I dated a fellow from work... he ended up stalking me for 6 months... Not fun at all... Life is all about learning, and although a lot of the learning hurts, it does make you stronger, and wiser.

First of all, it was wrong of this girl to accept a gift like that from you if she doesn't share the same feelings for you that you did about her. That is misleading, selfish behavior. Secondly, I feel that it's important to clearly define a relationship with someone before you give them sentimental gifts like a heart necklace. It seems like she was still getting to know you on a casual-level and you two were not "officially" boyfriend and girlfriend yet. I know that this experience is hurting you, but you have two options. You can choose to let something like this destroy you, or you can learn from it and not make the same mistake again. Somewhere out these is a girl who will commit to an exclusive relationship with you. Keep looking for her.

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Originally Posted by Gabe [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

there is this lovely girl which i still have feelings for that i work with, we have known each other for a long time now.

the first little while she was shy after her 3rd month of working with me she got comfortable

after a little more time we started hanging out and i was making her laugh being an awesome person but also dropping hints that i had a thing for her. she took the hints and started flirting back and she also initiated the physical contacts first

dates and cuddles movies and games.

on the day i was going to tell her how i felt about her and how much i wanted a relationship with her Even got her a necklace with a purple heart shape in it. purple being her favorite color and me going to 3 different stores to find the perfect one
another guy caught her attention but i proceeded to give her the necklace and tell her how i felt. it was a wonderful moment and she loved the necklace. but i knew something was up when she took it and put it in her work locker

not even a week later after constantly trying to communicate with her confused and lost. She... starts... a relationship with another man.

I feel like i have just been shot in the heart and left to die. it really hurts

and the most painful thing is seeing her wear the necklace everyday.

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Hi sounds like im in a similar situation too and youre biggest mistake was letting it happen in the first place. Especially since it was at work and now you have to see each other everyday.

here is my advice to you:

1. keep perusing her, deal with the pain and possible rejection and possible sexual harassment suite if things get ugly.
You have to decide if there's any chance left. if shes sending good signals. Most women like to flirt because it makes them feel good, and shes prob just flitring with you till she splits with bubba.

2. Or shut the door and try really hard to forget it at work, and its going to be really hard and painful, have to go there each day no choice.

Old thread new members. This happened a month ago....I'm sure the OP has already licked his wounds and moved on.

Don't be sad, with time you get over it, take your time :)

A little advise next time, before you open your heart to a girl, think well make sure first so that you don't got hurt ,
for you to heal and get over it,

Just, do thing for yourself go to the cinema alone,
go to the resto have a nice dinner alone :) plead to yourself
if you smoke but yourself a bukets of weeds and enjoy home :)

Yea watch Naruto You learn a lot in life :D

I can feel your pain.. But you can try a love spell to make her love you back.. Love spell worked for me!!

Old thread guys. And feck off with the love spell shit