I Think I'm In Love With My Best Friend.. help!

Hi everyone.

There was this guy who lived in the town where I work and I never really knew who he was, just knew of him. He added me as a friend on facebook 1 year ago and from there onwards we spoke everyday on private mail, nothing inappropriate just getting to know each other, and we both admitted we were best friends to a certain extent, we immediately clicked.
Because the two of us had partners we decided to keep the friendship a secret as to avoid people getting the wrong idea. We spoke about everything and still do to this day. We'd discuss relationship problems, friendship problems and speak bout anything at all. I will admit there has been harmless flirting on both our parts involved but nothing serious. He has recently broke up with his girlfriend, but that changed nothing between us.
Recently I've not been getting on with my boyfriend of 3 years all that well and I'm beginning to look at my best friend as something more. I love my boyfriend deeply and wouldn't leave him for a million dollars, but my feelings for my friend are clouding up my mind and he's all I think about lately.
Can someone tell me how to get rid of these feelings or resolve this situation, my head is fried.
Thanks xx

You just answered your own question. You've had a boyfriend of 3 years and this guy you've been talking to you is your "best friend". If your boyfriend of 3 years isn't your best friend then something is wrong. Either solve that situation or try it out with this new guy. You aren't married to him, so that is good at least. But you obviously have strong feelings for this guy and you know you've been in the wrong by "hiding" your friendship with him. You aren't happy, so no need to stay in an unhappy place.

You are cheating on your BF....you are having an emotional affair. It's no different like the earlystages of dating someone....and when you keep it a secret YOU KNOW you shouldn't be doing it. And just because there isn't anything sexual, doesn't mean it's not cheating. These romantic emotions should be shared with your BF and not with someone else.

The reason you are not feeling it with your BF is because you have become emotionally disconnected from him. Your emotions are now focused on this other guy.

You need to step back and take a look at your own relationship with your BF....what needs to change? What can be improved? Does he need to pay more attention to you? Spend more quality time together?

When people have emotional affairs it usually means there is something lacking in the relationship, so they seek it with someone else.

I think that if it has been only recently that you haven't been getting along with your bf, then you guys should try your best to work out whats wrong. You love your bf deeply and 3 years is too long to just have abruptly end. As for the other guy, I think the reason hes been in your mind is in fact because of your problems with your current bf. He sounds / looks more appealing because he is like your rock, you guys share everything and talk about everything to each other. However I only think he looks appealing to you because in comparison to the problems your having with your bf, he looks like a great guy.

Stop talking to this guy and address the issues with your BF. Go out on more dates, try new things, go to new places, have adventures, explore new hobbies or interests.

Yup, you're a cheater. How could you be so dishonest? Hiding a guy "friend" from your bf is so wrong. How do you think he'd feel if he suddenly found out you've been private messenging another guy and telling him all your deep dark secrets? You should tell your bf and be ready for the consequences. You're not being fair to him at all.