Commitment Issues

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29-09-13, 09:01 AM
Noruego

Commitment Issues

Hi all, I'll try to make this short.

I'm a 22, soon to be 23, year old guy currently at University. I've had a limited relationship history which mainly consisted of one bitch who was pretty horrible to me for 8 months before I got up the nerves to break up with her (thanks to this forum).
So like I said I go to university and I am having no trouble in attracting girls, but I find myself in an endless circle of finding a girl whom I like a little bit more than a one-night thing and I get closer and closer to something serious until I just find myself wanting to get the **** out. Usually accompanied by the girl become less attractive in my eyes and every other girl I meet seems more interesting and fun.

So to sum it up, I guess I have commitment issues, which kind of sucks because I just met this awesome girl who seems very into me and we pretty much chat multiple times every day, but I know in a while my idiot gear will kick in and I'll bail on it.

So what I was wondering is who here has suffered from commitment issues and acctually managed to get over it? Is it a time thing where one day you're not as scared any more or do you have to force yourself through it?

Any help is appreciated!
29-09-13, 09:07 AM
Agnus

That's what it is. The majority of girls are ugly. Have you ever thought why? I think pretty girls should be cultivated somehow like roses in the garden.
29-09-13, 10:08 AM
4 ratties

Well that's good your aware of your commitment problem and not clueless. Idk if I would worry too much about It at this point. Your so young. But if there is a special girl that you don't want to get away, then maybe think about why you have commitment problems is the first step. You said the girl becomes "boring and unattractive" but are u sure that's why? Maybe there's a deeper reason. Are u afraid of being hurt? Are u afraid of hurting someone if you don't like being "tied down with them"? I'm sure once you find the right girl, you will change your mind.
29-09-13, 10:28 AM
basilandthyme

I've seen a few guys who have commitment issues. They seem to magically resolve when the guy finds his Ms Perfect.

Start worrying if you find Ms Perfect and STILL don't want to commit.
29-09-13, 01:03 PM
Boisdevie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noruego [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So like I said I go to university and I am having no trouble in attracting girls, but I find myself in an endless circle of finding a girl whom I like a little bit more than a one-night thing and I get closer and closer to something serious until I just find myself wanting to get the **** out. Usually accompanied by the girl become less attractive in my eyes and every other girl I meet seems more interesting and fun.

I don't think have commitment issues at all. You knock around with women, you quickly realise that they're not someone you want to spend time with and you drop them. Isn't that what dating is all about - you get to know someone better to find out if they're the one that's right for you. When you find the right one, if then you can't commit that's a different story.
29-09-13, 04:59 PM
Noruego

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4 ratties [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well that's good your aware of your commitment problem and not clueless. Idk if I would worry too much about It at this point. Your so young. But if there is a special girl that you don't want to get away, then maybe think about why you have commitment problems is the first step. You said the girl becomes "boring and unattractive" but are u sure that's why? Maybe there's a deeper reason. Are u afraid of being hurt? Are u afraid of hurting someone if you don't like being "tied down with them"? I'm sure once you find the right girl, you will change your mind.

I will admit I am scared in a few ways. I absolutely hate hurting other people's feelings, so when I think the other person is more invested than me early on then I will look to end it so they just get a little hurt instead of getting too deep with them.
There is also a certain, lack of experience, that messes up my mind. I've never done anything sexual without being drunk and even my drunk record is very limited, not because there aren't offers. Also due to my ex just being a horrible person, I would say I've never been kind of in an emotionally two-sided invested relationship.
I can handle being hurt, I've done that. It sucks, but I get over it. I can not bear the thought of causing some other girl the pain my ex caused me so I tend to push them away before they get close.

And this girl is extremely nice, she is way out of my league (she's a 9 and I'm possibly a 7) and she has a great sense of humour. So there is a side of me that always keeps wanting to get into a relationship, but in a semi-schizophrenic battle of the mind the scared one usually comes out winning.

Thanks for all your replies btw