Some people here may be familiar with my stories and problems. For a quick recap, though, here's my situation... I'm a 24 year old guy, I have issues that cause me to not do so well at meeting people, making friends, and dating. I want those things so bad, but I can't seem to attain them, and that makes me both sad and angry, just very frustrated overall. At the same time, despite me wanting to have these things so badly, there's another part of me that's already completely given up, a part that WANTS me to not have what I want, to suffer, be miserable, and die a sad lonely old man some day.
People on forums like these always tend to say that I should seek out therapy, some kind of professional help, and I'm always resistant to that suggestion, for many reasons. For one, I simply don't believe it will work for me; I believe I may be too "broken" to ever be fixed, and thus, therapy would be a complete waste. Along the same lines, I believe that IF therapy has any chance of working on me, it will take so many years that I'd have to invest so much money into it, that I just don't know if I could afford it. Someone on another forum also mentioned the idea that I may resist therapy because part of me is scared it WOULD work, and that part of me doesn't want that, because that part of me wants me to be miserable; and I think there may be some truth to that, too.
Another concern I have with therapy is that I worry it may become a "crutch" for me. I worry that it won't be something I can do for a time, get better, and stop doing. I worry that I'll be one of those people that will NEED therapy, one of those people that has to run to a therapist every time something doesn't go my way. I don't want that to become what my life is, but I have dependency issues; if therapy becomes a "comfort zone" to me, I'm going to become too dependent on it.
I dunno. I mean, obviously I have issues, and I don't seem to have any other options, really, but... I just don't know how to get past the issues I have with therapy.
