My first relationship and breakup what did I do wrong? what do i do now?
Hi guys I was in my first ever relationship for the past 8 months and I was broken up with because my girlfriend “didn’t like that I was going to my friends for advice on what I was facing with in my relationship.”
We’ve had a few issues in the past namely that she wanted to try erotic modeling but I had to convince her that she should do it because shes going to college to be a teacher and she said that shes always been unhappy that I never told my parents off the bat about us but that’s because Im Indian and my parents are kind of racist against African Americans but she was African American so I had to wait till the “opportune moment” to tell them and after arguing for 5 hours with them to accept my relationship I convinced them; but when I told her she said that could care less if they accepted us she just wanted me to tell them.
The issues that ended our relationship began 2 weeks ago; my girlfriend told me one day that even if we’re married there would be a side of her she said she could never show me, I told her that she doesn’t have to hide who she is ill love and accept her no matter what; she responded saying that shes changing, that shes having a “sexual awakening”; that shes a bitch and she the loves the changes shes going through”
I asked her what she meant and what was going on; and after begging here 15-20 times she told me that she had started “dancing” to which I asked her if she was stripping she never said yes but she didn’t deny it either and I asked her other questions related to it but she never once corrected me to that sh wasn’t doing that.
The next she told me that she has a “lot of things going on that she can’t tell me about” and because of that she wants us to take a break and that she didn’t know for how long so shee didn’t want to see me at school but we can still text but when I did I only got 2 or 3 word responses.
I didn’t know what a break was and my friends told me it was like an unofficial break up and they told me it seems kind of like she’s trying to string me along as a safety net so I asked her a simply yes or no question “when you say break are you thinking about breaking up?”
She snapped at me saying why it so hard for me to understand that she needs space that the more I “pry” the further I push her away; that “we’re in two different places”
The next day my friends take me to their apartment and for the first time I get drunk and while I was messed up one of my friends takes my phone and sends her a text in my place cause they all felt that I was “blinded by my feelings” say that shes being secretive and that its kinda hard for me to trust her; she shouldn’t demean herself like that and that if she continues I don’t see a future for us, nothing rude and everything that they sent was something that If I had more courage I would say.
She fired back saying that I kept her didn’t tell my parents about her for 6 months that’s being secretive; that me doing that made her feel ashamed, she then started repeating over and over that im prying too much, that I don’t give her space; and she also said that she wasn’t stripping, and when I asked her what she was doing she just said “nothing of the sort”, I then point out she never denied or corrected me that she wasn’t when she told me earlier” and she just repeated she was doing nothing of the sort not tell me anything about whats going on.
I told her I trust her and I wished her luck with what shes dealing with.
This last Monday I sent her a good morning and then apologized for being so confrontational saying that it wasn’t me, when she asked if it wasn’t me then who was it; I told her the truth then I apologized and I asked her for a second chance.
She then replied that you’re going to your friends and talking down on me I don’t need someone in my life
The next day I asked her if we could sit down and talk out our problems because their not that big in the grand scheme and she said no
I got frustrated and hurt and called her out on some things and told her I could have lied about my friends taking my phone and she said who cares?
I replied that I care like I still care about you, that we had a bond a connection, and plans for the future and that I don’t want to lose what we have so I said im begging you on my hands and knees to give me a second chance
And she simply replied no
Guys…what do I do this is my first relationship and I can delete contracts and pictures….but I cant delete memories and did i have a right to feel uneasy and suspicious?
Im not sure what to do to “move on" either she was the first girl to show interest in me, she even asked me out.
