She's been gone three weeks... spending time with new friends out of the country. Three weeks. Three weeks with a group of guys i've never met, one of whom she made her immediate friend.
Mindless worries... I know she'd never do anything. But I still worry that she'll return and realize she doesn't love me.
hmm... but three weeks and she doesn't love me, a case like that would suggest that the relationship was shallow and doomed to begin with, neh?
I wish so much i could stop worrying... it's really not pleasant at all. Logic and the mind keep telling me "Stop being stupid," but I still can never shake the dread. I don't want to lose her.
Losing interest in me after three weeks would suggest that she isn't worth keeping, though. I pray this is not the case...
Yet the jealousy is still there... that some lucky fool has spent more time with her then I have ever been allowed to... It's just... not right...
A sudden spike of anger, the desire to kill him if he touched her. Yet if he did so she would have let him, so she is in the fault and not worth my time. I must keep a calm spirit, not let these mindless things hurt me. Be joyed in that she will return soon, not fearful of what she may or may not have become. In the end it doesn't matter. I'll lose her someday, at the very least in Death. Shizuka na Kokoro.
