How do I get him back?

My boyfriend dumped me last week, telling me he had thought long and hard and discovered he just doesn't have any feelings for me anymore. I find this very hard to believe as just days before he was holding me in his arms telling telling me he would have been destroyed if I had died (lucky escape from an accident completely physically unscathed)
I have a fantastic relationship with his child and along with not wanting to lose my ex, I don't want to lose my contact with the child who I have grown to love as if he was my own.
We did argue quite a bit but the arguments were never anything serious, usually just shite that piled on us due to only getting one night a week alone.
I love him more than anything and I genuinely don't know what to do :(
Please help?

Thanks,
Wee_lady88

Wee-lady -- I am sorry he did this to you but unless the child is mid teens, you just walk away. Grieve for your loss but the default is always the person who wants out gets their wish. If the child is a teen, you can ask if you can at least say good bye. I did this with an EX whose son was 15 when we split. I actually still have a relationship of sorts, mostly FB, with the kid who is now 24

Tbh I don't think he broke up with me for the reasons he gave me. There's something niggling the back of my head...he has been very stressed lately, the child's mother who has 2 hours supervised contact a week (due to child neglect and fraudulently claiming money for the child when he has sole/full custody, not her) has been taking him to court constantly for months now and he's getting very fed up with it, he's stressed out at the fact that he is essentially a single father (not counting myself as there are certain things I cannot help him with) and I think he is trying to gain control of something in his life and he has no choice about these matters, whereas he has a choice about our relationship and I feel that he's trying to grasp at some form of control in his life. I know it sounds crazy :-/

Your rationale about his behavior sounds plausible but it doesn't change the outcome.

If you are right & he will be better once he regains some control, if he comes back & you're still single, take him back if you want to. However, do not sit around hoping & waiting for that day. Get out there. Live your life. Meet new people. You may be in a much better place by the time he gets his act together.

For whatever reason you've been dumped and there's nothing you can do to get him back. If he wants to come back he will. But don't hold your breath. Is life unfair that things like this happen. Of course life can be unfair.

Maybe he just needed a break, give him time.

You mention that the two of you argued frequently over only having one night per week with each other. Was this situation likely to be resolved in the near future? If not, it's probably the cause to him ending things.

Thing is, any time there are ongoing, unresolved issues - it means the relationship is very likely to fail. One or both parties will get fed up with the drama and angst and seek a calmer life.

I hope you can find yourself a loving partner who can give you the time you require.

I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be in that situation. However you should walk away at this point. He made it perfectly clear how he feels and if this didn't happen now it would have in the future. He might come back once he figures out what he's missing out on, though don't stay around and hope for that to happen.

You just have to accept the truth Cry as much as you want because it will make you feel better

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Originally Posted by Wee_lady88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My boyfriend dumped me last week, telling me he had thought long and hard and discovered he just doesn't have any feelings for me anymore. I find this very hard to believe as just days before he was holding me in his arms telling telling me he would have been destroyed if I had died (lucky escape from an accident completely physically unscathed)
I have a fantastic relationship with his child and along with not wanting to lose my ex, I don't want to lose my contact with the child who I have grown to love as if he was my own.
We did argue quite a bit but the arguments were never anything serious, usually just shite that piled on us due to only getting one night a week alone.
I love him more than anything and I genuinely don't know what to do :(
Please help?

Thanks,
Wee_lady88

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I'm really sorry to hear about what happened. I know that a break up is the most painful and most devastating thing to ever go through. I think that maybe you should give him some time...Don't contact him...Just try to stay distant and hopefully he will realize that he misses you and makes the right choice. Maybe he has had a lot of things on his mind and a lot of stress and maybe it made his feelings change but hopefully things will go back to the way it was and he will start to realize and hopefully come back to you.

I wish you the best of luck , take care xoxo

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wee_lady88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My boyfriend dumped me last week, telling me he had thought long and hard and discovered he just doesn't have any feelings for me anymore. I find this very hard to believe as just days before he was holding me in his arms telling telling me he would have been destroyed if I had died (lucky escape from an accident completely physically unscathed)
I have a fantastic relationship with his child and along with not wanting to lose my ex, I don't want to lose my contact with the child who I have grown to love as if he was my own.
We did argue quite a bit but the arguments were never anything serious, usually just shite that piled on us due to only getting one night a week alone.
I love him more than anything and I genuinely don't know what to do :(
Please help?

Thanks,
Wee_lady88

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You know, all relationships have their ups and downs, and sometimes it is difficult to see the woods for the trees.

It helps in these situations to reach out to people who don't know you (as you have done), as those close to you tend to bring their own baggage into the discussion, often coming from a biassed position

Best is advise from those specialize in these problems and have experience dealing with them. Give it a go - what do you have to lose?

Tony
reclaimlostlove.com

Over time it all heala find you, your happiness as I know you probably feel it lies within him, you have to do some things for you, get yourself in a better mind space, and if it's meant to be, it'll be he'll come back

Try and move on and I know its going to be so hard, but just keep yourself really busy and spend time with friends