How do you think he feels about me and why do you think he didn't call me back?
Me & my ex have not been together anymore for about 10 months now. I was the one that ended it but the only reason why I had the courage to do it was because in the past we were off & on for a while & he always came back to me so I thought that he would come back this time too, but he didn't. I ended it because we were trying to work things out but then I found out that he was talking to another girl & planning on meeting her. I told him I was done & wrote a big status on Facebook about how angry I was & that I was done. He never replied my message so I said wow you really have nothing to say? & all he said was "no it's not that, it's just that It's like I can't believe in you." I tried to understand what he meant by that but he wasn't answering any of my messages. The reason why things were not working out was because he had such a hard time trusting me but I don't understand why because I was 100% faithful & also because every time something would go wrong I would write a big status about it on Facebook & I know he really hated that.
After the break up we went 1-2 months without any contact then suddenly we started talking again, became friends & started sleeping together again. I tried getting him back many times. I would talk to him about how much I changed and how much I wanted to be with him & how much I loved him. I was practically begging him to be with me again. He would always say things like "I don't want to hurt you anymore" or "we already tried and it didn't work, you'll find someone better." I started to asked myself if I just needed him in my life for the s*x because it was so good I was wondering if just that would be enough to satisfy me. At first he didn't want because he said "what's the point of sleeping with the guy you love if you know it's not going to go anywhere" & I told him "I don't love you...I don't want anything from you...just the s*x." he said "Oh really? you don't love me anymore..that's great. go find someone else to do it with." Then I kept talking him into it & later on he kind of changed his mind about it and said that I could come over. I asked him if he wanted me to give him more space so that I don't give him the wrong impressions & he said we would talk about it when I come & I agreed.
A few days later I came over & we had a really good time. At first we were just talking & asking what's new. I said a joke & kind of laughed & he said "so what you're sleeping around now?" & he kind put his head back & like made a face & had a reaction like it bothered him. At one point he took my hand & put his fingers in my fingers like he wanted to hold it but then I kind of pulled my hand away (cause I know that if I show him that I still love him it always pushes him away). we did sleep together & he seemed a lot more passionate then usual. like kissing me a lot & holding me close. also he asked me 2 or 3 times If I had slept with another guy & i'm not sure why he asked but there must be a reason. also at one point I woke up in the night & he was cuddling me. The next morning we went to a restaurant for breakfast & he was saying things like "you're gonna like where i'm bringing you" & then I kept talking about paying my meal with my debit card & he never said anything but then when we went to pay the waitress & I was going to pay mine & the waitress said to him "you told me you wanted it on one bill right?" he said yes & payed my meal. I was really surprised. He was also asking me a lot of questions about what I wanted to do in the future & if I was working on any projects. I also told him how I deleted my Facebook & that I was feeling a lot better.
At the end of the day when I went home I just said bye and waved without hugging him (usually I always do) & he seemed really surprised that I didn't. Later he texted me with his friends phone telling me that when he gets his phone he would text me. I waited 2 months without any contact. Then suddenly I got a phone call from him, he told me he was calling because he didn't want me to think that he didn't want to talk to me anymore & he explained that he didn't get his phone yet. He was far away & was talking about his new job & how much he is improving & how well he was doing. I had to go since I was working so he said he would call me back the next day but he never did so then I called him last night & the person said they would let him know that I called so I waited but I never got a call back. What should I do? & how do you think he feels about me? Any tips and advice? I pray for him and it would be a dream come true to have another chance with him.
