Some positive news on here!

I did the stupid thing and went snooping the other day, for the first time since we broke up. Curiosity got the better of me. I looked at the FB page of the girl he was texting within days of finishing with me, and it says they are in a relationship. What surprised me the most was how I felt... I didn't feel upset, I kind of felt relieved in a strange way. Relieved that I knew what was going on and could stop speculating and then all the bad things about how popped into my head and I actually thought "rather you than me love". Don't get me wrong, I miss the old him (from the beginning) and ill always treasure the memories and experiences (first love and all that) but he wasn't the same at the end of the relationship as he was at the beginning and I think that's what I was 'mourning' over so to speak, the old him and the prospect of definitely not being able to get that back. I feel like it was some kind of break through, like I'd turned a page if that makes sense!

good for you...

ya we always miss the old them....and its hard when you know someone else is getting the old them....neither was she...not the same person and it sucked...kept hoping that person would come back....and sometimes we wonder if well ever get that same feeling back with another person(its even harder when its a first love)

ive seen a pic or two of her with her new bf...and i can say "hey good for them...i hope she finds what she needed...im glad shes happy"....then sometimes you think about why they had to drag you through shit to get there...

Yeah exactly. Thing is, I don't even think she will be getting the old him... I think he's changed too much for that for various reasons. He has a bad temper and I don't believe he can hide it for very long anymore. We will see what happens anyway I'm sure. I feel like I've come off better in all this, I've had time on my own to reflect and I've not just jumped from one person to another. That's why I feel like if I do meet someone, I wouldn't be rushing if I was to get into another relationship now, I'd be ready.

You've just got to take the experiences and learn from them, whether good or bad. Just treasure the good memories and now I can differentiate from the bad now and be thankful they're gone. When people say it'll get easier, it's hard to believe but it really does. I know if I'd found this out earlier (a few months ago) it would have broken me, but now it's made me stronger in a weird way.

The only thing I hope is that he doesn't slag me off (because its uncalled for and unnecessary) and he doesn't compare us (because he moved so quick from one to another).

I don't understand why you would think negative things like him slaggin you....really would that truly matter now? And if you have moved on from it, why are you hoping to see what drama is about to unfold (if it ever does) with those two? None of it should concern you. I still see bitterness coming out of your post.

There's no recipe for moving on that works 100% for everyone. People find their own way to move on. It is great indeed that you have been strong enough to be single for a while and didn't rush into meeting someone else and dealt with your feelings in the right way even if has taken you longer to find your peace. Obviously dettaching completelty and putting everything behind you is ideal and you will get there but the important thing is that you have made significant progress and you are feeling so much better. Good for you. So many people are not who they seemed to be at the beginning of the relationship and when they stop making any effort to make you happy or solve the problems that appear, the best thing to do is leave them knowing that you deserve better. Good luck.

I don't want to see any drama unfold, I don't know how you've got that from my post? We will see what happens is more just a phrase, I didn't mean it literally. As far as I'm concerned now, we've gone two separate ways and our paths are unlikely to cross (he does still live near me when he's not at uni so it can't be guaranteed I won't see him again) and if we don't, I'm happy about that. I've no need to see him or know about him anymore.

As for him slagging me off... I don't like the thought of anyone doing it to be honest, I think it's a fear of mine in general that people slag me off and I don't deserve it, that's probably why I feel like that. I know it doesn't matter, but I like to think I'm a nice decent person so the thought of anyone saying otherwise disappoints me (if that makes sense).

brokenhearted,

I'm glad you got a bit of closure & are working toward moving on

You can't worry about whether or not an EX is slagging you. No matter what, take the high road. Don't say anything publically negative about him. Most people & everyone who actually matters, will look at the source of his comments & your unwillingness to criticize him & they will conclude that he's lying.

Love yourself more~