I am falling for someone that already having a long distance relathionship for 2 year
Hi all,
i am new here and first time i am asking for advice on a forum.
i am sorry if this is very long, i just want it to be clear so you know what situation i am in right now :(
i met this girl in October at bowling, she is 20 years old. when i saw her i was attracted to her so i decided to asked my friend to get her number.
Then i started texting her but i never make a call. Until a week later i decided to call her, she was really shy and quiet
we talked for abit and we decided to meet for lunch. it went great so i asked her if we could do it again on sunday and she agreed.
Sunday: i got her a little gift which is a necklace that she said she liked and some cakes. i took her out for a meal and some crazy golf and later that night i took her up to the car park that 500 feet above the sea level. it was a beautiful view and the stars were out that night.
So i gave her cake and the gift. she loved it. and we sit and talk for abit then she started giving me massage and i was doing the same to her then we looked at the stars and she told me to ly on her lap. it was really romantic moment we had lol then she asked to take a photo together.
i thought it was a good move so i tried to kiss her on her cheek but she refused! she didnt wanted to go home until later on 2am.
I dropped her off home and she sent me a text saying thanks and everything she enjoyed it and had fun.
Then she went kinda cold.. i had to make an effort to talk to her texting her and try to arrange another meeting..
after about a week i went out clubbing with my friends and she came later that night with her friends but we werent together i didnt want to follow her around. after awhile i went to the bar and i saw her there. i was talking to her and she was playing with her necklace as if she wanted me to notice that she was wearing it. we talked for abit then i asked her if i could take her home but she said that she was going home with her friends..
So almost the end of the night i went to get my jacket and i saw her there.. she asked if i was going home.. i said not yet then i asked her the same ans she said not yet too. i knew she wanted to stay with me because all her friends were leaving.. so i decided to take her for a dance and we were dancing for and hour!. we were holding hands and never let go! i felt like there were just 2 of us in the club! it was amazing and i stated to fall for her even more... later my friend phoned and i took my phone out.. she looked over to see who was calling.. after the call she asked who was that?! wasnt sure if she was being jalious.
Then i went and dropped her off, i wasnt drinking and she had just 1 drink.. i walked her up to the door and we talk for abit.
she asked if ill be ok to drive home.. then i said to her " i am tired!" and rest me head against the door... then suddenly she throw herself and hugged me!! i was shocked.. i felt as if she needed or wanted to hug.. so i hugged her back for a few secs and then say good night.
Then again... she went cold again.. no text. i had to make an effort again..
I later found out that she is seeing someone. she is having a long distance relationship for about 2 years now!!!
it hurts me!! but i pretend that i didnt know anything and continue to see her...
As she is really busy with work and college she was not able to meet up so i decided to pick her up and drop her off home..
Then we talked in the car for a bit and it took me awhile to tell her how i felt, she didnt say anything just listening, so i kept talking and i can see that she was thinking and wanted to say something but nothing come out. then she said that can we be friends?
I took it really bad but said ok, she asked if i was ok i said i could not force her to like me more than friends if that how she felt.
so i said to her if she ever gets bored we can hang out and she replied " what about other times?" so i said i am willing to see her anytime.
After that night i did not contact her for a week and i was thiniking of her every minute that i could not resist and texted her that i miss seeing her. So she replied lets meet up on sunday and do something.
I had a night out on saturday and there was this girl. she is my friends girlfriend's friend that just became single.. she is pretty, i wanted to forget about Gina (girl that i like) so i thought if i started talking to her and maybe i will forget about Gina...
I forgot to mention that i texted Gina that i was going out to this club that night... later that night Gina texted that shes coming out with her friends from work...
As i was having fun with my friends and that girl, i saw a guy i know that work with Gina came in, so i asked if Gina was there. He said yes..
He then went to tell Gina that he saw me, He said Gina was happy and asked where i was.. so he took her over to see me but when she was there i didnt know what to doi just said hi and i didnt give her much attention..
later that night when i went to get my jacket. Gina was there. and again we talked and i decided to give her a lift home.
As i was driving her home, i asked if she wanted to go home. she replied "up to you" i asked if she wanted to go anywhere else, she replied the same and asked if i wanted to go anywhere. so i took her up to the car park again.
Same thing happen, massage etc.. then she ly on my lap and i felt the moment was right so i wrap my arms around her and then i kissed her on her cheek and neck.. she didnt move! so i continue like that for awhile we were just listening to music and i felt i was in love :D
Then later i dropped her off and said to her ill pick her up tomorrow.
Sunday: i took her out for a meal and then we went for a walk to see christmas light. we were taking photos together, we were holding hands and some cuddles.. then we took a walk for a bit then she was messing about and put her cold hands inside my shirt so i did the same and we ended up fall into each others arms! and we were freeze for a few secs.. it was that moment when i should kiss her but i was worried if she didnt want to so i let go.
Then we went to another place for a hot drink, while i was driving she asked to see my phone and i did gave her without thinking what she wanted to do with it! then she was messing about with it and went in photos gallery and i asked her not to do it because incase there were some photos that my friends would send in a group chat (as friends normally do) she said she wont then she turn the back of the phone to me so could not see.
i didnt want to make it like ive got something to hide so i let her do whatever she wants.
Then when i asked to see her stuff she didnt want to and i asked why, do you have something to hide? she said she didnt want me to see something so i didnt bother try again.
Later i was driving her home, i put my hand on her lap and she keep taking my hand and biting it and messing about with my hand then she tried to annoy me by playing with my ear lope so i let her.
When we were outside her house, we were sitting and she was showing me stuff on her phone which was her singing. she was leaning towards me so i wrapped my arms around her and i was again kissing her cheek and we in that position for about 30 mins then she started to mess my hair up a few times, so i said to her if she do it again i will kiss you.. she said if you kiss me ill be mad at you.. i thought to myself she didnt let me kiss her on the cheek but i did and she wasnt mad.. so there she goes.. messing my hair up again so i grabbed her and pulled her down in a kissing position but i wasnt going attempt to kiss her at first. i thought she was going to turn her head away but when i try to kiss her on the cheek she turned her head towards me and my lips was on top of her lips but again i froze!!!! :( i didnt know what i should do i was worried if i force her she will get mad so i let her go... then we said bye but she didnt look mad.
The next day again, no text. so i started texting her for a bit and she went quiet all day so i asked if she was mad at me but she said she wasnt.
So i asked if we could meet up again on sunday, she said she wants to but she doesnt know yet if she will be busy or not.
I later found out as well that she is planning to visit this guy in March!! 4 months away :'(
i am stuck, i dont know what to do. i tried to forget about her but now im falling even deeper!
I have never felt like this to anyone. When im with her she just make me smile for no reason and i never felt happier. When im with her i forget about everything and felt like there were just 2 of us. I dont want this to end i am trying to ignore everything about the other guy.
I am also confused with the things we do together its definitely not what friends would do.
All my friends said to ask her what she wants.
Should i tell her that i know she is seeing someone and tell her how much i want to be with her or try and forget about her.
I am not sure if i am in love, im not sure what love is but i know that when i am with her, its all i ever wanted. Since i met her i could not describe how happy she makes me feel. i think of her every seconds of the day.
I am so lost. and knowing she is going to see him in 4 months is eating me alive :(
I am doing her a portrait as i promised her and also a little gift for her this sunday if we do meet up
Please if anyone could give me some advice
And i am really sorry again if this is so long, i just wanted to make it as clear and as short and understandable as possible.
Thank you so much for taking your time to read.
