Anyone been in this situation? Please help, causing me so much stress :(
I recentely posted a new thread about problems I was having with my partner intimately. We have both admitted there was an issue, found out the main cause and resolved things (finally). We're back to normal and understanding each other and it feels lovely. However I seem to have found myself falling into another sticky situation with him (as per usual). If you have happen to come across my post please do read on, cause I'm sure many of you may have come across a similar issue or know someone that has, I would geniuely like to hear opinions from another persons point of view, as I'm so crap at accepting my own advice. Anyway let me get to the point.
So me and my partner have been together over a year now, we're great friends as well as "boyfriend and girlfriend" and although we have many ups and downs the bond and understanding between us is great. He is my first partner. And my first in many other ways too. Now don't be fooled, I'm not a love struck 16 year old. I'm in my early 20's, as is he. So both quite young and prone to make mistakes. However, he is my first ever true love and I am his.
Now the only issue is, I am an atheist and my partner follows a religion, however he is not strict or religious in whatever way shape or form. Although his family are, they're a very traditional family with STRONG cultural/religious values, and they do not accept in anyway anyone from their family marrying outside of their race or religion. Including both of his parents especially his mum. He's Asian I'm middle eastern and an atheist! My family arent religious either. I totally respect my partners religious views, I also push him to keep his connection with god and embrace his culture & I always ask him to tell me more about his beliefs, cause I genuinely am interested. I respect everyone regardless of their age beliefs nationality sexuality or background etc. And he knows/appreciates that. FYI he's totally cool and happy with me being an atheist and never talks to me about god/religion unless I bring the subject up.
Now my main concern is he's approaching the age where in his culture/family his parents will start to look or come across potential marriage partners for him as again arranged marriages are another part of his culture and again, that potential partner must follow the same religion and be from the same country.
Now we've established that we have either two options, either end our relationship now or when he comes across a potential mate or, introduce me to his very pressuring mother knowing full well she doesn't want what's best for him, she just wants to keep the family name and image in tact which is understandable.
However she is totally against marrying him off to anyone outside their culture and although marriage has never been my thing and it wouldn't be till another couple of years would you be able to put up with it? I would do anything for him and to be with him, honestly he is my best friend. We've both made mistakes and had ups and downs ever, I've never been able to fully connect with someone in a way I have been able to with him, he motivates me to be a strong female, to reach my full potential and aim for targets/goals I've set myself. Career and money wise. He constantly looks after me and I have health issues that he helps me with etc never failing to miss an appointment, he respects me, he's never shouted or sworn or hit me or said a bad word to put me down. And always compliments me in terms of ideas, image and personality. I'll stop going on now anyway you get the point! Plus I do so much it him. Due to the way he understands me and we can relate to so much in depth on personal issues, I have fallen madly in love with him. I do love him. And honestly I can't see myself being able to let go of us or him as a person as a friend, but I don't know if I'll have the balls to marry him. Why? Because the constant gossip and PRESSURE I'll get from his family, I know for a fact they will put me down, speak and think negatively about me as well as not accept me, it's happened to people in his family before. And him being the only son all he wants to do is be the one to make things right and make his mother proud, as shes been through a lot. But also I don't want his family to look down on him because of his decision to be with me. There's a chance of him being cut out of the family too. He said marrying another female some way along the line is something he doesn't want to do but will have to be done due to the pressure of his whole family however he does want to marry me and sees potential for himself in me.
But then I'm questioning if he really loved me wouldn't he just tell his mother and family I'm the woman he wants to possibly marry in the future instead of some one he's been pushed together with. I understand he wants to make his mother proud, but wouldn't he just take the risk? He says he's going to sort something but refuses to tell me what. I have no idea where I stand with him anymore and don't know what to do. Let go of him or try fight for what I love? If he doesn't give me a straight up answer within a couple weeks with a solution for us I want to walk away. Because I need a man thats willing to do whatever it takes to be with me just as I have done for him.
