Confused, not sure what to do.
Hello! I am on this forum to ask a question about a...not really a relationship, but a women I guess.
Well, I approached this women at I work with. It was a bad day for her and that day I'm not sure why but I approached her and gave her my number telling her if she ever needed to talk or needed anything at all to get a hold of me. I was with one girl when I was 16, and it was hard on me when it ended. I have not been in a relationship or with a women since then. I am now 26. So this was a new experience for me. Well on from that day we started texting, within the first week we had exchanged over 1,000 messages, really exploring eachother. After that we started hanging out, and it was Great! I had dinner at her place often, I even fixed her dinner. Her being 20, I know there is an age difference, but she is mature for her age.
She had been in a relationship before with a guy for about 4 years, and he apparently had a child that this women got attached to. He treated her unfair, and cheated on her with other women, and they got into fights. So she does have issues with that, but we talked about it a few times. I finally got to a point were I started to open up to her, letting her know how I felt. That I had my share of problems and was not perfect. But she seemed fine with it. And she admitted she too had some issues. There were some nights we made out, and just had a great time. Nothing serious. I really fell for this women, I paid everytime we went to the movies, I would bring her flowers and gifts.
And then work got a little busy, and it seemed we started to....get distant. I know she is going through a hard time right now, she is trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life. And I told her I understood and wanted to help her figure it out and support her. Well, It got to where I would text her and she would not text me back, and the texts got brief and briefer. And then we would not talk for a few days at a time. I got to the point where I told her how I really felt, I told her That I loved her and that she made me feel like nothing I had felt before. I told her that everytime I see her at work it's like a jolt to my heart, My head gets fuzzy and I get goofy around her. I laid it out how I felt.
As of now, I say hi to her at work......And the other day we caught eachother on break. And she said she felt like she had wronged me. I asked her why she thought that, and she said she felt she....mislead me in a way.....I explained to her that she shouldn't feel like she wronged me, and that She makes me feel like no other women..and that I was hers if she wanted me and it would always be that way. She told me if there ever was an offer to take it......I explained to her that it's not a matter of excepting an offer, because only she can make me feel the way she does......
I don't know what to do....I still text her, but some times she replies sometimes not. I really love this women, I think about her all the time and it pains me to think of losing her...I know we did not get involved completely...But I don't know, I don't know if I should pursue her....or let her go. When I see her at work I go goofy and fumble my work, for being 26 she makes me weak at the knees and sends my emotions into overdrive. I will admit, I could have said things differently when we did hang out, or maybe managed my emotions better..But all those times I was trying to control how I felt inside......I treated her like a gentlemen, and I even told her I wanted to treat her like she deserved.......But I don't know. What do I do? I have never been in love....And as awkward and unique as I am, I am afraid I will never find a women like her.........And I know I've said this, but I have NEVER felt this way with any women I have talked to, or been around before....What do I do?? On the outside I am Ok, but on the inside....I am a mess right now.
