Perfect one day, off the next?

A few months back I met a girl, we clicked instantly. She told me right away that she didn't know if she wanted a boyfriend yet. I said that was fine, so we just dated. Well a few weeks of dating she told me she did want a boyfriend, and she wanted it to be me. Fine, great. A week and a half later she broke up with me saying that she was confused and had alot going on (which she did/does). We went back to dating, and its been good, but Im confused. A few weeks ago she started to seem kind of stand-offish, seemed like huging and kissing were forced. I told her we needed to talk, cause I felt like I was in the dark about things. It all came down to her pushing me away subconsiously. Some of the things she did (when I would take her home she would just get out and say bye), was pushing me away. I told her that when Im with a girl I cant not show affection or show how I feel, just cant. She changed almost instantly. She was acting like she used too. Its been GREAT the past few weeks. We've seen eachother everyday for the past month (excecpt when I went to college orientation).

Well last night we were dry humping (which is as far as we've really gone) and it drives me crazy. She keeps telling me she wants to have sex with me and all this, and I want to have sex with her too and she knows that (Im still a virgin). I tried to finger her and she pulled away. Later on I tried agian and started too and I KNOW she was enjoying it but then pulled away and kind of backed off. This is really starting to get to me cause everynight I end up with the worst blue balls. When I dropped her off she didnt hug me or kiss me or anyhting, just said bye. I went and saw her this morning at home and it didnt even feel like she wanted to hug me. She said it was cause she had just woken up. I dont buy that. I went and saw her for lunch yesterday and I was in work clothes and she was in biking clothes and she was still hugging all over me.

What gives? Part of me just thinks she doesnt want to mess things up and take it too fast, but the other part thinks its me.

Patience man, Patience

Why dont you ask her? I think that is step #1 dude... pure, honest, open, communication.

What's her experience sexually? Does it occur to anyone else that it seems like she might be sexually frustrated with him? Regardless, dude, talk to her. Just tell her exactly what you told us. Let her know that you're getting frustrated because you have no idea where you're relationship is heading. Important: Let her know how great she is and how much you like her and what not.

Shes been with 2 guys, and whispers things like "lets fck" and stuff when we start getting intimate. But when I try to do somethin she seems like she didnt mean what she said. After I tried to finger her last night and she backed off I could tell somethin was on her mind. I did try and ask her (not in a pissed off way) about what she was thinkin and she just said she didnt know. I tell her how great she is all the time, cause she is. I guess I just read into things too much cause I just got done hanging out with her and she was all fine and dandy agian. Sometimes I wish I just didnt notice the smallest things, cause sometimes I see what isnt there.

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Originally Posted by MrDrum

Why dont you ask her? I think that is step #1 dude... pure, honest, open, communication.

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Yeah. That's about it. Maybe she wants to **** you, but doesn't want to get tangled up emotionally with you. Maybe she does, and worries ****ing might ruin it. Maybe she wants to, but doesn't want you to get emotionally tangled up in her. Who the hell the knows? Gotta ask her what she wants to do with you and, if it matches what you want, go on to the next step. If it doesn't, figure it out from there.

Is she a virgin?

If so, she may "want" it, but it is also very scary to actually go through with it. With the guy that I lost my virginity to, it took a year and a half. A lot of me saying yes, but then backing off, all that sort of stuff.

Sounds like she might be. And if not, it may still be that she hasn't had sex a lot, and may still be cautious about it even if she wants to. Sounds like she's either playing you around, or perhaps more likely wanting to be adventurous with you, but not feeling quite ready for it. Patience man, she probably has some issues. Let her sort things out, and don't be pushy about the sex. Maybe she just needs some time. Time to deal with/get over past issues or time to get to know you and trust you better? People are different. Keep cool and see what happens. In any case, it's not a good idea if she feels forced into it.

No shes not a virgin, I am. Last night we were better, kinda sorted things out. She said thats not what were about, which I agree with. I dont want us to end up being just about fooling around. But at this point I dont see how it would hurt to go a little farther. Then agian, I might not be seeing the whole picture. In the past she's said "man I need to just fck some random guy to get it out of my system." She was joking around when she said it, and I saw that. But last night she said it agian and it really irritated me. Its kind of insulting.

Tell me if this makes sense....
We've seen eachother almost everyday since we've been dating and we still have yet to get annoyed with eachother. We're both NUTS about eachother and we know being together is the right thing. But she would rather mess around with a random guy than me? What?

She's just teasing you. Patience.