jealousy and anger. Advice to fix our relationship
Hello everybody!
so i have this problem thats killing me. Here's my story.
Okay, i've been together with this girl for 7 months. in november she broke up with me. she said it was for the best. because we broke up is that she found some pictures of another girls on my phone. Yes, i did a mistake, and i hate myself for it, and i still had contact to my ex girlfriend. When she found out, she ignored me for 7 days and kinda cheated on me ( she felt another guys sexual part while sitting on his lap at a party" this happend early in our relationship, and we tried to move past it, but she couldnt. She hated me because she thought i always looked at other girls and things like that, and i understand that completely. So we broke up the november before i was shipped to the marines for 1 month. So after 2 weeks after i came home, we started to hang out and talk again. I said i want to be in a relationship with her again, because i love her with all my heart. And she said she wanted to, but we need to work us up again, and fix the problems that ruined our old relationship.
Then she said she had to confess something before we are going to try again, then she said that she had sex with another guy a couple times, touched another and maked up with him. As my natrual instict i got ****ing pissed, but didnt do anything, just slept it off. she said she did this to get over me. it felt very unfair, beacuse while i was at the marine, i was so depressed, and hid my tears good as i could. while i was sad as ****, she was on a vaction having fun and ****ing another guy that was twice her age, it was kinda sick. later i said i can get over it, because i love her so much.
Later in this month, i felt progress, i could let it go i felt. And things with her was getting better, but we're still not committing, just trying to fix everything, and progress showed.
But some days i ago, i found something that broke my heart and hurting like a knife in the back, because i felt i little betrayed, but we arent committed, but it still hurts. I was kinda sneeking in her facebook when she forgot she had her facebook logged on while she was out of her room, so i found some texts. she still had contact with the guy she had sex with on a vaction. They texted very dirty, like "i luvd how you suckd my banan" and replied "i know you love my lips" and that broke my heart. So i confronted her with this, and i asked "why are you re-fantasizing about what happend while you were on a vaction" she said she didnt but because "it was fun" and then she said she loved me, and i will never see it again and stop talking to him.
I believe her, because she have never lied in our relationship, and is a very honest person, because this i know very well.
But it still hurts, and i cant get the picture away from my head that she had sex with him.
Please help me! i need advice! Thank you very much for reading, and trying to understand. (i know i have shit grammar)
