Hello LF, today I just got the absolutely best New Years gift in my entire life.
You don't have to reply or anything, I just wish to let off some steam, so, If you don't mind, I'll just start.
My hands are shaking as I'm writing this...
It's ridicilous.
Heart breaks don't just come from your soul mate flipping you off, your wife/husband divorcing you or the love of your life leaving you. It comes from other, different things aswell, ones that, maybe others don't take close to heart, like a close friend telling you off, cause he has other more important things to do; Your mother not sending you a present for your birthday if you live far away from her. Those things, they may not hurt you, but there are people who will get hurt by those actions, or inactions.
Just now, I found out my friends decided to celebrate New Year's without me. I wasn't busy, not even moderately occupied for the evening. Their plans never came up during conversations, so I had absolutely no clue. But I'd be okay with that, had it been only them, cause they wouldn't have even hinted at anything. But here's the catch.
A while back I introduced someone to the group of people I, now used to, hang out with. She needed something different in her life and I thought, okay - I'll help her out, give her a little push. That friend, I'm currently talking about, had a terrible break up, so I thought she needed a change of pace. She befriended almost everyone and kind of became a part of that group.
During the last few months I became distant cause I was too busy with work, I had literally no time to hang out wiht them, no matter how much I wished for it, but there was nothing I could have done to fix that situation.
Before Christmas me and That friend had a slight dispute about something, the subject of which is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't even a big deal. Now it's New Years. I sent out texts wishing a Happy New Years to all my friends and judging by the replies that I recieved from a bunch of them, almost simultaneously I might add, containing something of a ridicule wishing me the exact same thing - figured a bunch of them had gathered somewhere. And a certain reply from That friend confirmed it, almost, as if to stab me in the back. To show me, that I'm unneeded, they're better off without me there.
It just sucks to understand that you're irrelevant to some of the people who you thought of as friends.
All in all, this has got to be my worst New Years, but at least my goal is clear.
Wish you all a happy and loving New Year LFers.