When does "looking" mean SHE is interested?

Hello Ladies,

I'm new here so forgive me if I go straight into this without much ceremony. I'm 32. I work in a shop quite close to my house. There's a girl (my age I think) whose parents are our patrons and they live just a few blocks away from our shop. This girl has been looking at me i.e. staring as if she is interested or curious, for over a year now whenever she passes the shop. She always looks at me when I'm not looking (others tell me so). Every time she passes in her car, she definitely looks at me if I happen to be outside the shop. My take is that she uses the enclosure of the car as some kind of buffer to get a look at me without being too obvious, but of course that doesn't work. Previously she would look me in the eye (probably awaiting a reaction from me) but me being me, I haven't even smiled at her. One reason is the way she looks, it is quite intimidating. I think she's given up looking directly at me now because I haven't reacted.

She's is very sweet looking and has the most intense eyes and when she looks at me I feel as if she's looking right into my core. I have recently found out her name and what she does. She's owner of a company that manufactures stuff for the hotel industry (I wont go into the details) and is obviously very well placed financially, perhaps a lot better than I am.

To cut the long story short, I have over the past few months been attracted to her even more because I think she is interested in me but I'm not sure. I haven't had the courage to go up to her and talk.

Now, I'm not a hunk or an extremely attractive guy (at least that's what I think of myself) but I can say that I am of a pleasant disposition and non-assuming.

I'd like a woman's perspective to this. Is she interested, curious or does that look mean nothing at all...?

I shall provide more details when the replies start coming in since it would make more sense to answer specific questions one may ask.

Awaiting replies. Regards.

Do you want her to be your girlfriend? If so then stop acting like a little boy. Ask her out on a date. Then you'll quickly find out if she's interested or not.

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Originally Posted by Boisdevie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Do you want her to be your girlfriend? If so then stop acting like a little boy. Ask her out on a date. Then you'll quickly find out if she's interested or not.

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Thanks Boisdevie for your reply :)

I would love to have her in my life. But would it be appropriate for me to be so direct? I haven't even engaged in any small talk with her...

Stupid question... but if I she passes by again, should I wish her "Happy New Year"? Though it isn't new anymore.

1. Engage in playful small talk.
2. Then ask her out.

Jeez. You're 32. You should know all this by now.

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Originally Posted by apollothirteen [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Thanks Boisdevie for your reply :)

I would love to have her in my life. But would it be appropriate for me to be so direct? I haven't even engaged in any small talk with her..

Stupid question... but if I she passes by again, should I wish her "Happy New Year"? Though it isn't new anymore.

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This is why guys try to date a lot, so they get comfortable with the girls they meet.
Getting to know anyone, is about your confidence around them.

It has to flow naturally and you have to adjust to her body language and adopt to any situation she may throw your way, because she is testing you, that you aren't weak and can handle yourself.

Trust is important, but she also needs to make sure she is safe around you.

If you feel like getting to know her, just talk to her, you have nothing to lose but not trying.
You've waited all this time, so many blown chances will make you realize that you should've had the guts to approach her.

If you don't have the balls, then just go find someone else when you feel the time is right and not second guessing yourself, by over analyzing.

We can give out advice, but it's up to you to decide how to use it.

Good god just wave and smile at her for christ sake you are 32 years old. There is nothing to be afraid of she is just like everyone else. Now take her off that pedestal that you have put her up on and just relax and be friendly. That will be plenty to get your foot in the door. Maybe invite her parents for tea and insist they bring her too. Isn't that the custom in your culture when you have intentions to date their daughter?

Kromat83,

That's putting it too bluntly but I agree with you. You're right, it's about confidence and that's where my problem lies. I will definitely talk to her as soon as possible because that is the thing I have to do, I guess.

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Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Good god just wave and smile at her for christ sake you are 32 years old. There is nothing to be afraid of she is just like everyone else. Now take her off that pedestal that you have put her up on and just relax and be friendly. That will be plenty to get your foot in the door. Maybe invite her parents for tea and insist they bring her too. Isn't that the custom in your culture when you have intentions to date their daughter?

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I have spoken to her mother, but I don't know the parents well enough to invite them to tea. The mother had invited me to tea a long time ago and I regret not having accepted the invitation then, but that was on a different pretext. You're right, she's definitely up there on that pedestal and I need to start looking at her as a normal person. I'll also keep your advice about smiling and waving to her in mind. Thanks.

I also need to be more stable with my emotions which are making things difficult for me and get a hold of myself. If only these matters of the heart were so easily solved...

Just treat her like a friend you'd like to meet, that always makes it more comfortable for me.
If you make her out to be girlfriend material before even getting to know her, your nerves will just get in the way.

Don't try have this mindset in trying to impress all the time, but show her the type of person you are and she's appreciate that your genuine.

If you try to be someone that your not, it'll never go your way.

Some people like practicing before going on a date, but I don't, because each person is different, and you have to constantly adopt.

Be a fun person to be around with activities you want to try and are doing, and she'll surely want to be a part of it
P.S. Be different and not like every guy she meets.

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Originally Posted by apollothirteen [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I have spoken to her mother, but I don't know the parents well enough to invite them to tea. The mother had invited me to tea a long time ago and I regret not having accepted the invitation then, but that was on a different pretext. You're right, she's definitely up there on that pedestal and I need to start looking at her as a normal person. I'll also keep your advice about smiling and waving to her in mind. Thanks.

I also need to be more stable with my emotions which are making things difficult for me and get a hold of myself. If only these matters of the heart were so easily solved...

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You can create another opportunity by striking up a more personal conversation with her parents when they come into the shop....it will leave a good impression with them and possible invite for tea again.

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Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You can create another opportunity by striking up a more personal conversation with her parents when they come into the shop....it will leave a good impression with them and possible invite for tea again.

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That is a remote possibility since ours is a tyre shop (not a frequent stop). But the mother had/has given me a job of finding a buyer for the girl's car. Unfortunately (or not very smart on my part) I called up on the land line and landed up with an interested party (presumably) when the girl wasn't around. This happened a couple of days ago. The next day when she went by in the car, I saw her looking at me again.

I'm not sure whether to talk to the girl about the sale of the car since she might think I could be trying to make a quick buck through a commission on the sale. By the look of it, I don't think they're in too much of a hurry to sell the car either.

I might even be stupid enough to think that she might approach me first (presuming she is really interested) on the pretext of the sale car (and presuming that her mother has told her about it) but I don't think that's going to happen because she's probably waiting for me to "man up".

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Originally Posted by Kromat83 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Just treat her like a friend you'd like to meet, that always makes it more comfortable for me.
If you make her out to be girlfriend material before even getting to know her, your nerves will just get in the way.

Don't try have this mindset in trying to impress all the time, but show her the type of person you are and she's appreciate that your genuine.

If you try to be someone that your not, it'll never go your way.

Some people like practicing before going on a date, but I don't, because each person is different, and you have to constantly adopt.

Be a fun person to be around with activities you want to try and are doing, and she'll surely want to be a part of it
P.S. Be different and not like every guy she meets.

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Good advice, Kromat83. Definitely a booster. Thanks.

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Originally Posted by apollothirteen [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

That is a remote possibility since ours is a tyre shop (not a frequent stop). But the mother had/has given me a job of finding a buyer for the girl's car. Unfortunately (or not very smart on my part) I called up on the land line and landed up with an interested party (presumably) when the girl wasn't around. This happened a couple of days ago. The next day when she went by in the car, I saw her looking at me again.

I'm not sure whether to talk to the girl about the sale of the car since she might think I could be trying to make a quick buck through a commission on the sale. By the look of it, I don't think they're in too much of a hurry to sell the car either.

I might even be stupid enough to think that she might approach me first (presuming she is really interested) on the pretext of the sale car (and presuming that her mother has told her about it) but I don't think that's going to happen because she's probably waiting for me to "man up".

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This is a great opportunity to have contact with her. Stop making excuses to not talk to her.

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Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

This is a great opportunity to have contact with her. Stop making excuses to not talk to her.

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I will try to.

I found her FB profile. Should I send her a request?

Or should I send her flowers...?

Sorry, making excuses again :P

No FLOWERS! flowers are for first dates. Friend request would be acceptable.