I cheated, now I'm desperately confused
My shitty story.
Let me start off stating that I don't care for anyone judging what I put here, you're getting a shortened version of the story so take it as it is.
I am sparing no vulgar detail, as that is how I tell it in person. If you're prude or upset easily just don't read on.
Now here's a little backstory. Britney is a girl I met working at Taco Bell about 4 years ago (I'm 26 now). I had a huge crush on her working there, I actually used to get in trouble for flirting with her during work hours. She was about 5 foot tall even, light brown hair and large breasts (just the way I like it). She was a little chubby back then, but still so cute that I didn't care. The main problem was that she always had a boyfriend, and I was too damn impatient to wait for her to break up with them. There were a few scenarios where she called me crying in the middle of the night and the 'knight in shining armor' came to her rescue. I would go pick her up and console her, and hang out with her at 4am. By console I mean listen to her complain and buy her Mocha Frappes from McDonald's.
She would always attempt to make a move on me, but I was just too much of a pussy to ever do it. I just didn't want her to cheat. This happened maybe 2 times, with her literally pulling my dick out of my pants only for me to sheepishly push her away and tell her I didn't want her to cheat. She never did break up with the guy, after a few months so I just looked elsewhere, just like the needy cunt I am, I searched long and hard until I found a girlfriend. We'll call her Daria (which is pretty fitting for her personality).
Daria is an introverted girl, half mexican/white but very attractive. Maybe 5'2" and 130 pounds, most of the weight in her chest (you know me too well). Daria and I have been together for the last 3 years basically and things have been a little bit shaky towards the present day. She has put on quite a bit of weight since we met, maybe 50 pounds and I try my hardest not to make a big deal of it, but it is. I feel as if we shouldn't be getting fat so soon, we're only 26, this is the best time of our lives. The best sex we'll ever have (which has gotten pretty scarce as of late).
During this time, Britney has had one kid, and broken up from a 3 year relationship with a different guy. She also lost a bit of weight and has been working out a lot and is looking ****in-fantastic if I do say so myself. I messaged her on facebook about 3 weeks ago with no intention of anything, but to see if she was ok (she posted something about her life being hard)
I'll give her something hard in her life if ya know what I mean. Or soft and limp. Whatever, I suck at one-liners.
But in all honesty I was just checking up on her to see how she was doing, and she then unleashed the almighty "I always wanted you" speech, after a few days. At first I was thinking "Well you had your chance" but after talking for a while and realizing I don't have very many friends, I decided I'd hang out with her one day. She is the type of girl I could see myself hanging out with even if it weren't a sexual thing or a relationship. So I went to pick her up and we hung out for about 3 hours in my car just talking. She pounced on me and this time I didn't push her off. I'm not sure if I needed closure from this girl or just to even know if the sex would be good. And boy it was. I could not believe how tight she was, especially after having a kid. She also is not shy about being loud and that really turned me on as well. I ate her pussy like a maniac for about 2 minutes and she came really hard, and got on top of me in the back of my car. It was very passionate, and loud (something I'm not used to) and we went at it like animals for what seemed like under 10 minutes. She came really quick which made me cum right about the same time.
After sex we still sat in my breath-fogged car for another few hours talking, when something she said kind of bothered me. She started talking about her ex and how "no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get off with him" despite him having a "nice weiner". The word weiner is obnoxious and she uses it all the time and thinks it's hilarious. Now I didn't think too much of it, although it did bother me a little bit. I'm pretty confident in myself and I know I don't have a little dick, I've been with enough girls to know where I stand in that department. I took her home and we continued to talk via text for the next few weeks.
Around 2 weeks later, I had another big fight with Daria in which we almost broke up again, so I went to hang out with Britney. We went on a standard normal-date-type procedure, I took her to lazer tag and then to eat. We then sat in my car (since we have nowhere to go, she's living with her parents and I didn't want to do that) and talked for a few more hours. She pounces on me again, like a god damn sex-tiger. She whips it out and rides it, and cums in like 30 seconds. We go for maybe 5 more minutes really ****ing hard and she cums again, and I cum too. Then I eat her out 1 final time and she cums again in like 3 minutes, to which she commented "The things you can do with your mouth". The sex was even better than the first time, it's literally like nothing I've ever had before.
So after, we sit in the car and talk again for a few hours. Everything's going good and she gets on the subject of her ex again, and I mention that the dude's pretty ugly (he's like a 2 out of 10, I'm not being biased either, the guy's ugly as sin. He looks like if Jason Statham were malnourished and was also a neandrathal) and she agrees he's ugly. We get off the topic and a little bit later she says "I have to be honest, the only reason I ever had sex with him was because someone told me he had a huge cock", and that she basically got knocked up by him so she was stuck with him. This comment bothered the shit out of me. Not only because her ex has a 'huge cock' but the fact that she would date any ugly mother****er as long as he's packing heat, it upset me. How much weight does having a big dick carry with her? And knowing that I'm bigger than average, this douche must literally be huge.
So this happened about 2 nights ago, I have kinda been ignoring Britney and the thought of picking her over Daria (which I had been contemplating) makes me sick to my stomach. I don't know if I need consolance or advice or just want people to hear my testimony. I don't know if I should be so bothered by what she said. Comments are welcome.
