Took a chance (chances?) and oh dear....

First time posting here. I'll try and keep it brief.

My marriage ended three and a half years ago. We basically grew apart (got together very young) but he also had someone else in the picture... Long complicated story... Needless to say confidence shattered, self image ruined, trust betrayed.

Recently I tried online dating. Met a guy online, conversation was great if a little heavy on the sexual side at times, that was fine - my sex drive had been snuffed out by my ex and I was happy to rediscover it. Met in person, date seemed to go well... Kissed, made plans to see each other again.... Then the online conversation stopped that night and nothing. Not a word ever again. Bewildered but surprisingly philosophical, tried a different dating site,met a guy online with another great connection. He was keen, so was I. Met in person, just got better from there. Saw each other regularly, realised there was something there which we mutually agreed on (backed up in conversation), started discussing going away together, talking about a relationship, in contact all day and night pretty much, had told family and a few friends about each other although not at the meeting the kids stage... Out of the blue, the morning AFTER our last outing and a mere week and a half after we had some level of intimacy and discussion of future plans l, he told me "the spark had gone" and he no longer saw us being a couple. Via Facebook.

Cue much confusion, anger and tears on my behalf.

I asked him why he had not told me when he'd seen me the day before or even once he felt something wasn't right. He couldn't give me an answer except to say he was a coward and not to let the changes I had made (he had acted supportive and motivated me, and I felt so strongly about him he had inspired me to so so) stop. We had discussed future plans just the night before and he said they seemed to be going well. No mention then either.

There's more I could add but there's too much. The kicker is I had told him not to lie to me, begged him in fact. I had been lied to by the last two men in my life who I'd taken a chance with and now... Happened again. He even said he wasn't sure if he'd "overread" his feelings from the start but yet he said everything he felt was real and true. Whut?! Talk about your paradox!

So suddenly I am alone, bewildered, confused and yet again, betrayed. What was lie and truth? Why after I said "don't lie" he did? I deleted my profile on the dating site (well known and respectable, not a sex one) because quite frankly, I'm 42 years old and DONE. I have been waiting for someone to be honest with me since I was 16. And I give up. It took a lot for me to trust again, and I did and the result was I got lied to and used. We have cut off all contact and blocked each other on my request; I deleted absolutely everything including messages and all contact details.

Best thing is of all he felt we could be "great friends". Ahahahaha. After intimacy (not sex)? Knowing I had strong feelings for him? Watching him pursue and move on with other women? I am the third woman now since his marriage ended (she cheated on him) that he's called off. So there's something there.

I've done two 180's in a short amount of time so my feelings are a little jangled. I'm also not naive - I think the intimacy freaked him (that he wanted) out along with the realisation that this was becoming real and serious - I believe I just got used. In his own head maybe at one stage he believed the things he said but I no longer know what to believe.

Three strikes. I'm out.