The 1st girl I liked in 10 years. Please help... Its a long story :D
There is this girl Ive known her for 4 years we became real good friends. We are taking up the same curriculum in college. So we regularly see each other. She aint really the type of girl who is quiet and because our curriculum is dominated by guys(engineering) she is usually 'one of the guys' .
Before everything I wanna say that Im not really the type of guy who go through with this things. Im kinda shy when it comes to these things.
Anyways we became really close last year because she asked her closest guy friends for some advice (this includes me and yes this took months) about whether or not she would confess her feelings to him. She actually did and she cried for months cause she got rejected. Right then and there I fell for her. I dont know why but I just want to give her a hug and stop her from hurting. I never saw her as the emotional type maybe cause she's with us 'guys'. I never pursued her before. Cause 1st of all, I know she had a thing for another and 2nd I thought to myself if she got rejected, what if i get rejected.
So...as time passed. I thought it was over, my feelings kinda went away... Cause I keep saying to myself... "Why love if ill end up getting hurt..."
FASTFORWARD to 4 months ago. We went to a powerplant visit. Our organization rented 4 rooms to stay in for the night. 8 persons per room. Our group(this includes her) is about 12 people so some of us have to join the other groups, one of the 4 included me. But we didnt let that stop us from joining them in their room. So...we stayed at their room. Some other guys...bought some drinks. I dont drink, while she is allergic. So we kept each other company. Long story short during the night after most people are asleep or drunk we talked about all kind of stuff and surprisingly she was uncharacteristically touchy like hitting my shoulder and poking my hands or upper arms she touches my friends sometimes but not as frequent. We talked about our love life but it mostly focused on me.
The next morning we are about to go home so...i dressed up. After i returned to the room to hang out with my friends she was there and she said how cute my i looked. At the bus, we sat next each other...at this point i was starting to remember why I liked her... Anyways...since we didnt sleep. We we're drained and wanted to sleep along the trip so i offered her my shoulder. Which she accepted then she wrapped her arms around as if its some sort of pillow. Then she had to go down cause its her stop... 20 mins later im still in the bus she texted me she said "um...babes(thats what we playfully call each other) ... I just wanna say thank you for taking care of me I just arrived home and i just wanna say any girl would be lucky to have you" so I message her back "i said it was no trouble... Your a girl and even if you are one of the guys someone should take care of you"
After I arrived at home...she made a facebook status to thank us guys...for the awesome field trip. Then she...said "three hugs and cookies for my sweetest babes. .. *insert my name here* who took good care of me".
So yeah...I think that is an indication that she likes me. So i tried out to find out the type of guy she likes...she mentioned some traits she likes...then she said... But i dont really care about these as long as he is christian.... Uh oh... Im catholic. That broke my heart. I kinda gone through depression all over again. But I wanna know for sure... So i lied(dont ask how... Im not proud of it) and she kinda indirectly let me down easy. But... I didnt want our friendship to end... So i tried to cover everything as if it never happened and until today we are friends at the end of the day I told myself "i tried..." What sucks about this is I found out she was christian but she converted cause she was sent to a chrisitian school before she transferred in college.
So I went on with my life... Sometimes... She still does it, poking but for no reason at all. I would go talk to some of our friends then she would poke and i would ask why? And she would say "no reason". But sometimes she would act as if im just another guy friend.
Then came last december before the vacation... She texted me. To meet her and I did then i saw her she gave me chocolates as a gift and she asked me to hug her. She greeted me during christmas on facebook. She said "eventhough we dont have anyone to spend it with we should be happy. Love you babes<3". She greeted me during new years too saying "happy new year labsyou babes<3".
Then came this month classes resumed. She is touchy and compliments me about things occassionally. She often sits near me if not beside me. But sometimes she acts as if im not there. Then came...a couple of days back she got ill... She got measles... So... I messaged her through facebook. I told her "hi babes i heard you were sick... Measles... Just treat it as if its just another fever. Rest, drink lots of fluids, and etc... I hope you get well soon".
She said "Awwww. You're so sweet. That means so much. Any girl would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend".
So... I wanna know what should I do? Does she like me? Is she playing me? I doubt she is that kind of girl cause she grew up in a conservative family. Do you think it is worth risking our friendship? Do I have a shot? Did she probably change her feelings? Is she waiting for me to make a move?
