I feel stupid after sending him a text when he hasn't called me back.. need advice

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20-01-14, 04:02 PM
char12

I feel stupid after sending him a text when he hasn't called me back.. need advice

Having trouble sleeping because I feel stupid, going to vent on here so I can hopefully get some perspective (and sleep). I've wrote a previous post about how I've been dating this guy who I really liked, I haven't felt chemistry like it since my ex over a year ago which I think is the reason I've made excuses for him. He instantly came across as a player and was pushing sex quite heavily and some of the replies on here confirmed this. I promised myself I wouldn't talk to him after that but he keeps coming on stronger and I'm confused about whether he is actually interested. He's started ringing me instead of texting asking how my day is and I'll fall for him again, then on other days he'll take hours to text back. He'll tell me he's going to travel to see me and looks at me and kisses me like he adores me, then doesn't call back or is late to pick me up sometimes.

The other night he even offered to pick me and a friend up from out night out over 40 mins away then backed out an hour before because he was too tired and apologized. I promised myself (again) it was over and didn't text back. The following morning he rang me early (to apologize i was guessing) but I was busy and bluntly said I'd ring him later (for my apology) as i made excuses that he genuinely could have been tired. He text back understandingly like he actually felt bad. I rang him later and his phone was switched off.. he hasn't bothered getting back to me yet writes updates on twitter about Big Brother. Half of me thought he mustn't have been informed of my call to not ring back after not picking us up. I lost the plot and text him "Rang you before but your phone was turned off, don't know what happened to "speak later" but i'm going to bed.. night". He hasn't replied and I feel stupid and desperate for even bothering to text. I feel like if he isn't into me I could have at least kept my dignity and ignored him and if he is i've put him off, or he genuinely hasn't got my call and thought I was ignoring him.

After writing this out I'm a lot more clearer that he does just seem sketchy. I don't know why I'm so strung out on this guy who I know is bad news. To make it worse, a guy wants to take me out who is gorgeous and seems genuinely interested and I don't feel the same attraction.. what is wrong with me and how do I get over this guy for good?! I'm a bit more upset that I've ruined my dignity by sending that text and I should have just been classier and waited for his call to reject him instead of acting upset. Any supportive words would be nice x
20-01-14, 04:42 PM
smackie9

We desire most what we can't have and what we know is bad for us. It's just nature messing with you. The cure is to go cold turkey. Delete his number, block everything so he can't get in touch with you. Once you separate yourself from him, you will snap out of these emotions, and give a sigh of relief.
20-01-14, 05:17 PM
Rowen

I agree with smackie. Cut this guy out of your life.
20-01-14, 06:01 PM
HDBadger

I'm sure I will take to the grave with me the unanswered question of why so many women absolutely adore douchebags.

It's mind boggling.
22-01-14, 01:58 PM
1989

Please do not feel bad about this. Sounds like he knew exactly what he was doing. He'd chased you by calling you, asking how your day has been, offering to pick you up, blah blah blah. Even though he is an ass, he knows that you'll remember the good things he did, so feels like he can do that anyway.

Personally, I don't think you've lost dignity. If someone has built you up to the point where you like them, of course you're going to want want to know what's going on. It's not like you said 'omg what the hell, you haven't rang me?! do you like me? please like me!' haha! Dramatic, but you get the point (although, just son't text again :P ). But I just think, if this guy wasn't into you, he shouldn't have made out like he was. If he changed his mind, he should tell you.

I've been through a similar thing recently. The guy chased me and made out he really liked me, then just didn't reply to me one day - that was 3 weeks ago. I'm struggling to move on or have an interest in others, even though I know this guy is no good (never thought I would be one of *those* girls :P ) but I just keep looking at the positive things about him. But I've realised that I need to move on, as even if he came back (which I kept hoping he would), I will end up getting hurt again, as he clearly doesn't have a problem hurting people. Anyway, this turned into a bit of a rant haha, but hope it helps :)
22-01-14, 08:56 PM
smackie9

Quote:

Originally Posted by HDBadger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm sure I will take to the grave with me the unanswered question of why so many women absolutely adore douchebags.

It's mind boggling.

Bad boys tend to have lots of positive traits that come along for the ride of the badness such as good looks, confidence, creativity, humor, charisma, high energy, and good social skills-- all things women find attractive. When women are ignored or rejected, their brain get a hit of dopamine, so they keep fighting for more....the cycle keeps repeating itself. Women love the challenge to tame the beast, especially if they guy is hard to get. If they win the guy she feels she must be special.....the young ones fall for this crap, but eventually learn it's a pile of rubbish and means jack shit.