My wife wants to divorce me

Heres my story..

//background info: We met online, we decided to marry so she immigrated from canada to usa to

live with me here. She has no family here, i was it..


My wife just came to me out of the blue last night and told me she wanted a divorce... at first

it was just all shocking and i didn't know what to do so I just kind of went along with it... I

had no idea she was unhappy, oblivious til the end....

But after a night of thinking about our whole 7 year relationship, and where it went wrong... i

decided to have one last heart to heart talk with her.

We started out happy and in love, very passionate, romantic, but after about 4 years, i started

to be less affectionate, romantic, (partly because I felt she was also like that, but also that i

took advantage of her personality, her somewhat desperateness, and her kindness. ), so things

went on, arguments started to come up and we would always have talks afterward... and she would

kind of just accept them, or so i thought. But inside she was actually hurting, and she didn't

even know it herself... which is finally after 3 years she really thought about how she felt, and

she realized she dosen't love me anymore, she had no longer had any feelings for me. The last 3

years of our relationship was like "best friends / roomates". We had not had any passion or

romance that she wants...

But i didn't even know that, i was happy, i was selfish. I took her for granted when i stopped

trying and was just happy that there was someone there for me, and that was enough for me. I

thought myself so great, that i was a good husband, but being so blind i didn't even know i was

neglecting her.

We made so many promises, that we would be together forever, but after 3 years of this pain, it

seems that bond was not strong enough for her to give me another chance.

I guess i cant blame that she didn't confront me sooner.. but id just be lying to myself even

more. Im not blaming myself entirely, and she knows she also has made some bad decisions... but

she just feels differently now. I know what iv done, and willing to change fully.

After reading alot of articles on marriage counseling...and talking to her about our

relationship,

She is still set on divorcing me, so she said.

I felt so frustrated, helpless... and stupid that i couldn't realize this sooner.

I know i still want to try to get her back but im not sure when, and how. I've read alot of stuff

about taking breaks and that its good.

After my last talk all she said was... "at least for now, i want to be on my own, have a chance

to re evaluate myself and clear my mind".

So i think... that is the best thing for now...?


The current situational though is that, we are still living together, she is in the process of

moving out, but she needs a car first. She is the one that will be financially hammered with this

separation.. We also work together so we will still see each other at work... Even though she

broke the news to me, and i was depressly sad for the first 2 nights... somehow all im trying to

do now is help her get on her feet... treat her like i did before and better... as best as i can

as a friend... because thats the only thing that makes me feel good right now.

I still want to try and respark that flame with her... and win her back but don't know when or

how.. I just love her still..


My concerns are:.....

Do you think there is still a chance for us to reconnect? To regain what was lost?
Should I still be helping her or let her be on her own?
Should we keep in contact outside of work?