lies after emotional affair to avoid confrontation?
so my OH had ea with a woman at work. i have been trying to rebuild trust the last 6 months. he has given me open access to anything to prove he is no longer texting her etc including phone bills, card bills etc if i want. he finishes work before me each day and at a variable time (half our give or take each way), most days i ask what time he left work. today i found a reciept in his car for petrol he brought a few days ago which doesnt tie up with when he says he finished. ok its about 15min out. i asked him about it and we got in an argement. he said he is fed up with having to relay his schedule each day and sometimes he didnt even bother looking to see when he left so he would just tell me what was the norm so i wouldnt worry. he seems to think he has saved me from worrying or being suspicious by doing this as he was trying to avoid any more questions or arguing. he said it matter as its only 10min either way but he just dnt like being questioned everyday. i know i have been pestering him abit but do feel upset as when he was having the EA he admitted to meeting her after work for half hour or so. he says i need to forget and move on. am i just bg paranoid now?
lies after emotional affair to avoid confrontation?
Sorry, but you seem to be treating him like you own him. Which, you don't. You chose to carry on your relationship with him, which is also like saying you will move on from the mistake. Right? Well you obviously haven't moved on from it and are punishing him everyday.
Building trust again should be about trusting each other.. Not keeping tabs about his every move..
If you want to be with him, then I advise you to respect him as a person and allow him to have some privacy!!! Everybody is entitled to their own privacy. Try actually TRUSTING him to re build the trust.
If he breaks it, then leave. If he doesn't, then you can begin to trust again.
If you don't feel you can do that, do both yourselves a favour and just end it.
lies after emotional affair to avoid confrontation?
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but how will i know if he still speaks to this woman at work? i didnt know for months what was going on. how am i supposed to see these red flags when he works with her? im scared of finding out he is still friends with her
You won't, you will just trust that he's not. That's what trust is. If he breaks the trust and has another affair, you will eventually find out. Which then you can leave him. But if you do want it to work, you have to just let it be and learn to trust again.
No matter what, you cannot control another person. He will cheat if he is going to, whether you are keeping tabs on him or not.
I'm sorry, but it is likely if you carry on this behaviour that you will drive him away or to another woman who actually respects him.