Trying to change a pattern
I've posted here before about a pattern that I have, which is getting involved with men who treat me pretty casually (make no effort), then I break up with them and they beg me to get back with them and go on about how I broke their heart.
Anyway, the problem seems to be that I set a certain precedent for a guy's behaviour. I'm quite relaxed and I don't like being the centre of attention or having people make a fuss over me… it makes me uncomfortable. However, I'm sick of being with guys who make zero effort with me. I want to know if there are clear signals I can give a guy at the start that lets him know he's got to make an effort?
I just got out of one of these situations, and I'm going on a date next Saturday. This is a guy I've met a few times socially, and met up with as a "friend" once or twice. We talk a lot on FB and as soon as he heard I was single he asked me out. However, he hasn't suggested doing anything specific; basically leaving the ball in my court to choose to do something. I'm concerned that this is the same pattern as with all the other guys.
How do I give the message that I want the guy to take the lead and try to impress me? I said to him "let me know if you've any suggestions for what to do" and he said said he's "open to whatever". I didn't reply to that message. Frankly I'm not interested any more if the guy isn't going to get his finger out to some degree.