The loviest love story ever told!

Once upon a time in a far off desolate kingdom named Northwest Colorado, there lived a goat.

Now this goat was a big he-goat and was strapping in all aspect of his manly form.

This goat desired another goat who was across the fence but he couldn't get to her. She was in her heat and many other males had come a courting, but couldn't impregnate her because they didn't have the delicate touch of the one He-goat across the fence.

Besides, they were castrated.

And dehorned.

And one was even recently clipped.

But anyway, the He-goat said to himself - "Here I am, the only thing I can snog is these sheep here and that's getting tiresome, I must find a way to reach this lovely, black goat in heat."

He would, but the consequences would be terrible -

TO BE CONTINUED

My boyfriend lives in Colorado. I know it's not related. But still.