It was too good to be true.

I was too naive, and it came back to haunt me

I loved this girl. We knew eachother for 5 years, and became good friends since 2 years ago. We texted eachother every week-end and even when I was on vacation far away, we still managed to keep contact almost daily. I've never been good with my feelings, and she was the first person that really connected to me and made me give up my fake emotions. So, as time went on and we got to know eachother better, my feelings for her also grew along. However, I've never thought I'd one day tell her that I loved her, because she was pretty, very (maybe even too) kind, smart and athletic, while I wasn't anybody special.

So, a year past, and we are now in our final year of highschool. During christmas, I finally got enough courage to tell her I loved her on text when she was on vacation and, although I never expected anything else but a ''no''( she had already told me that she liked other guys), she said that she didnt know if she liked me back and that we can do something and see if it works out. It made me very happy, and for a moment I felt like I was on top of the world. Looking back at it, she was probably just too kind to say no, even though it would've hurt me less.

I've tried to make things work after that night. She agreed to go on a ''date'' with me someday, but I always felt she did it because we were friends and didn't want to hurt me. However, it became obvious after a while that the feelings were one-sided. I tried to act confident, but eventually my insecurities were too much to bear.

I've also asked some of our mutual friends their opinion, and they admitted that they didn't think I had a chance. I always knew it too, but I was too naive to admit it. I felt bad. It was like finally waking up from a sweet,long dream only to realise that I didn't have anything I dreamt of. I felt that I had done so much, waited so long, endured so much and all these efforts went to waste. I only have myself to blame. I aimed too high, and I felt too hard.

The truth has finally hit me, and it hurts..

The biggest issue you're going through is that you're fresh out of high school. I'm not telling you you're problems are insignificant or to "grow up" in any way, but what I'm telling you is things work themselves out better than you could ever imagine. The pain may be hard to deal with now and I know because I was there, my ten year high school reunion is this year. From what I've learned is the heart break and let down's I've dealt with in high school we're much easier to overcome than later on. You're still very young and you have yet to really experience life at it's fullest. Simple pleasures you'll live through after high school, during college, travel etc will give you more of a better feeling alone than any girl from high school has. You'll meet plenty of girls you'd never think you could ever be with.

Bottom line is you and this girl are still growing, physically and mentally. You both may think you know what you want but you haven't lived long enough to really even have a clue yet. You may disagree but I'm turning 28 next week and I've been in plenty of relationships that I was devastated from when they ended, to only end up meeting somebody much better, over and over. Things will work out and if it were meant to be, than maybe you'll end up with this girl after all. No two people or relationships are the same so they don't always end the same.

Sometimes you just have to give it some time. Let the clouds blow over and perhaps the friendship can get back on the right track. I had a best friend that was a guy and things changed for a few months, but after that we were still friends for along time. Sometimes we think that may be something, but than you find out later you made better friends, and other people were better partners for you both. So wait and see what happens. It is natural sometimes to get in that situation, but if you're true friends to begin with you just keep communicating and get through it, and leave the past behind.