Valentines day card!

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20-02-14, 12:11 PM
Jollylolly81

Valentines day card!

Hi would love to hear opinions from the male side! my story is i was round my boyfriends house last night when i saw a valentines day card left on his side with the rest of his paperwork.... obviously i have picked it up and the front read for the special man in my life! inside it said you will always be my pupa no matter what and we have something special since the first day we met. addressed by his babymother saying how much her and the 2 year old kid loves him!!
we have been together 2 years and he got her pregnant just before we got together. am i having the wool pulled over my eyes........ are they still you know whating!!
i confronted him about it he went crazy saying i am searching through his things and ripped it up in my face saying hes got nothing with her. do i just believe him please help i cant just forget it and i will keep bringing it up causing arguments if i dont sort it out....
20-02-14, 12:38 PM
Mattiemae

Well I can tell you new mother's that are left with a baby do fantasize the boyfriend coming back, and sometimes send cards and letters trying to improve the situation. Doesn't mean anything is going on all the time, but she may have been trying to win him back. If you're raising a baby by yourself, it is overwelming to think you have to raise it alone. So you'd have to ask him that question. Whether she just sent it, or whether he's seeing her. It could be either way!
20-02-14, 12:49 PM
Jollylolly81

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mattiemae [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well I can tell you new mother's that are left with a baby do fantasize the boyfriend coming back, and sometimes send cards and letters trying to improve the situation. Doesn't mean anything is going on all the time, but she may have been trying to win him back. If you're raising a baby by yourself, it is overwelming to think you have to raise it alone. So you'd have to ask him that question. Whether she just sent it, or whether he's seeing her. It could be either way!

thankyou for the reply. i was thinking maybe he is encouraging her as words to that effect in a card seem a bit majorly full on for someone who isnt with him, the child is nearly 2 surely she must accept that they arent together if thats the case. But i have asked him if he is still seeing her and he says no he is just supporting the child like he should. guess i just have to take his word for it....
20-02-14, 01:06 PM
Wakeup

Quote:

i just have to take his word for it....

Or you could pay attention to the fact that he didn't do a thing to re-assure you that she is out of the picture but instead turned it all around on you until you ran away from the subject like desperate chickeeeta. Do you think you could simply ask him to clarify why she would think that he would appreciate a card such as the one she sent him? Why did he break up with her?

Anyway. If he's doing her then don't you think there would be other signs that he is? What actions (if any) are you also ignoring that indicate to you that he's being sketchy?
20-02-14, 01:16 PM
LittleMadam

Yup, he has managed to twist this all around on to you.
Why has he gone straight to defensive mode, and not reassurance mode.

If it was me in his shoes -id of thrown the card in the bin when i received it. I also would be reassuring the best i could.

It seems like he knew you were coming, and put the card away.
20-02-14, 01:28 PM
Jollylolly81

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Or you could pay attention to the fact that he didn't do a thing to re-assure you that she is out of the picture but instead turned it all around on you until you ran away from the subject like desperate chickeeeta. Do you think you could simply ask him to clarify why she would think that he would appreciate a card such as the one she sent him? Why did he break up with her?

Anyway. If he's doing her then don't you think there would be other signs that he is? What actions (if any) are you also ignoring that indicate to you that he's being sketchy?

He did eventually calm down after flipping out and said listen i am not with her never have been, i dont want her. he said he is shocked that he received it as all they have been doing is arguing lately. (I disnt ask what just guess the usual babymama drama)
they were never actually together he says during splitting up with the wife she showed him some attention and one thing led to another and now they ended up with a child. he has always told me she isnt for him in that way and admits he made a mistake but will always be there for the child which is good.

the other signs are that out of all his 6 babymamas (i know its bad) she is the one constantly calling his phone all times of the day. sometimes he answers near me sometimes not and sometimes i just get a feelings shes asking him questions he is struggling to ask near me as then he snaps at her and they argue if that makes sense. i always say she seems like your the only person in her life the amount of times she calls and i have noticed its becoming less the more i make a fuss. i did once see a txt at a glance which said you make me so happy and he fobbed it off as because he is so good with the child..... he always turns it round to make me sound paranoid. we dont live in each others pockets and i do mad shifts so it would be pretty easy for him to be living a few different lifes but we chat everyday for long periods. i just think this card has destroyed the trust and its ruined now.
20-02-14, 01:36 PM
Wakeup

Quote:

the other signs are that out of all his 6 babymamas (i know its bad)

GEEEZUS Christ on a cracker. If you're for real you're a fool for even giving this piece of shit the time of day. He is NOT a good person to be wanting to spend your heart on. Make sure he wears at least three rubbers and you're on the pill when he's all up in you. Ugh
20-02-14, 01:37 PM
Jollylolly81

hes very good at putting it back on me! i was at his the day previous and he said the card was there then also why didnt i see it then. that didnt make sense it was a pointless argument to make really he just wanted to make out as though i was snooping whilst he was out the room and deflect the fact id seen the card. whilst ripping it up he did say the card means nothing to me i dont care what she thinks im not with her....
just doesnt make sense if she thought she was nothing to him she wouldnt of sent him a card with those words. the card was on top of all his junk mail and bits of rubbish he hadnt hid it which is why i argued the point i hadnt been noseying.
20-02-14, 01:40 PM
pollock

A little inappropriate and him blowing up in your face is hardly reassuring. He should try and put himself in your shoes and be a little bit more considerate.
20-02-14, 01:41 PM
Wakeup

You're not getting it sweetheart. You're a fool to stay with him whether he's lovin her card of not. He has six children from six different women. Are you Rastafarian?
20-02-14, 01:44 PM
Jollylolly81

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You're not getting it sweetheart. You're a fool to stay with him whether he's lovin her card of not. He has six children from six different women. Are you Rastafarian?

hahaha 8 kids actually nope im just a muppet in blindlove i guess
20-02-14, 02:34 PM
rest77

"the other signs are that out of all his 6 babymamas (i know its bad)"

@Wakeup
"GEEEZUS Christ on a cracker. If you're for real you're a fool for even giving this piece of shit the time of day. He is NOT a good person to be wanting to spend your heart on. Make sure he wears at least three rubbers and you're on the pill when he's all up in you. Ugh"

You are something lol I had to control myself so i wouldn't wake up my neighbours
20-02-14, 04:35 PM
Wakeup

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jollylolly81 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

hahaha 8 kids actually nope im just a muppet in blindlove i guess

Don't disregard the very low character in general of the man, Jolly. The fact that he's irresponsible so far as to keep uncomittedly spreading his seed like he's some Farmer working his field in spring is reprehensible.

You can do better and chances are high he's getting a little something/something from the valentine giving baby momma.

Have you ever spoken to this woman? Let her know of your presence in a non threatening way? Perhaps she doesn't even know you exist and as far as she knows is just working HER man. He can not want anything to do with her (relationship wise since he's not wanted a relationship with any of his spawn partners) and still be plowing her garden.
20-02-14, 05:23 PM
surfhb2

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jollylolly81 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

hahaha 8 kids actually nope im just a muppet in blindlove i guess

Actually, fucckking dumbshit is more the term Id use
22-02-14, 08:14 AM
Mattiemae

Sounds more like she's in love with him, or obssessed with him. Really this goes on with alot of ex's with babies, and new relationships. Nothing new. The ex wants him back and his a child, and hopes it works out, while the ex has to deal with millions of phone calls, and even women do try to break up their new relationships. If you're out of the picture, she gets what she wants. If people are in love with someone they don't always get over them just because they're now married, or move on. In her mind she may not have moved on, even if she has new relationship herself or not. Really he does have to set boundaries, and of course the child is always leverage.