Why don't guys like me?

It seems like every guy I finally really like has absolutely no interest in me or is scared off by something about me. I used to not be picky at all and I got hurt a lot, so now I've learned to be very picky and to not stand for crap that guys give me, and even then I always get hurt. My longest relationship was about a year and it was emotionally abusive. He always turned things around on me to make it seem like I'm the one with all the problems and he's perfect. He constantly told me how lazy I was, even though I had a nearly full-time job at the time, and always helped out with his dog and cleaning up when he wasn't home. He never wanted to go out on dates with me but got extremely upset if I didn't want to get drunk with his friends on the weekends (I usually worked the weekends so I was tired, and I didn't like drinking at all). He even told me that I need to lose weight and work out more. I have serious self-esteem issues and have a hard time trusting guys now.
I'm really not clingy, I do want to hang out with my boyfriend often, obviously, but I know we both need our space. If a guy hurts my feelings I now choose to not associate with him anymore, and I don't think that's wrong at all. Guys have used me for sex and as their personal doormat many times, so if I don't want to be "just friends" with I guy I thought really liked me, that shouldn't be considered "mean" of me. I'm just done with being thrown out like garbage or put on hold.
So, basically I've taken it upon myself to not let guys walk all over me anymore. That doesn't mean I'm not a kind and sweet person. I want to be treated well and like a human being deserving of love and affection, as I have a desire to do the same for that special man. Though I do have self image problems I know that I'm not ugly (not trying to sound conceited). I have a fun sense of humor and know how to have a good time.
You'd think there'd be maybe at least one guy who likes me and I like back, but it sure doesn't feel like it.

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Originally Posted by hour_glass [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If a guy hurts my feelings I now choose to not associate with him anymore, and I don't think that's wrong at all.

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Maybe I'm not understanding because this statement is kind of vague.. but to choose to stay away from someone just because they hurt your feelings is wrong.. It doesn't matter how good you are with each other, or how hard you try.. you will end up hurting each other sometimes, not necessarily intentionally. There can be misunderstandings and stuff.. it happens. You need to talk to each other.. communication is always key.

Now that being said.. I've been through a lot that you have. That guy you were with was controlling.. and not the kind of person that's good for anyone. The only thing you can do in that kind of situation is take your power back, stop being a victim, and let them go. But not all guys are like that.

There is nothing wrong with demanding respect. But don't be all hard on them when you are just getting to know them.. that can scare a decent guy away. Until a guy gives you a problem.. just try to relax and go with it.

Guys using you for sex and stuff... you seem to be mixing with the wrong people, and part of the reason for this is likely your self esteem. You know yourself. You are not lazy and you are not ugly or any of that stuff.. and you really need to have confidence when you are looking for someone. Do you know how a dog can sense fear? Well people can sense things too.. and you probably haven't even realized that you have sent out vibrations saying that you are a victim... a guy can sense that and it will attract guys to you that want to be abusive with you.

What will help you is to try practicing having a positive attitude, including having self love, self respect, and self confidence.. Think of it like guys being a mirror.. when a guy looks at you he's going to see what your feeling about yourself.. and that is going to reflect off of them and back at you.

I don't know if you know anything about the law of attraction, but when you start to really try practicing positive thinking (it can take a while to really be able to master your negative thoughts), you will start to "attract" more positive (better for you) people in your life.. and the losers that would hurt and abuse you leave your life because they start to lose that attraction with you.