Indestructible Friendzone, or really confused girl?

Now, granted I'm 17 and relationships are something I am rather ignorant of. But I guess Ill get straight to it.

I have this really close friend in school, I've known her since the beginning of the school year. I became really good friends with her and we talked about our personal life. Over time, I started to develop feelings for her. Now there was a point in our friendship where we acknowledged we both had feelings for each other but we decided to stay friends. Just last Thursday it was our birthday, yeah its on the same day. We went out and did silly stuff and talked.

I figured it was time I asked her out. I asked her if she wanted to date me, and she told me she wasn't ready because shes still afraid to be hurt again. But she said she wants to and she told me she'd tell me when she's ready. I was really happy we hung out for the rest of the day. We can talk for hours, I swear.

The next two days we were going out with two of her friends for our birthday. I felt left out because her and one of her friends were giggling and stuff, and eventually her friend rudely told me she has a boyfriend. The whole night was terrible because she was texting this guy the whole time... And I heard we giggling with her friend about making out and sex at some point.. Later that night I asked her why she did that to me. She told me that her friend hooked them up and she liked him for a while.. I was confused because she never talked to this dude it was barely. She said I'm too good of a friend she can't afford to lose, and she refuses to lose me, because she doesn't believe she can be friends with her exes due to the drama.

I was hurt I told her I'm happy as long as she is and I'll always be with her. But then when we went back she continued to text him and she just wasnt sad anymore, it killed me. I feel completely lied to, and hurt and I just want to know why she would do that to me.

And of course, stupid little me went to go get that answer. We walked by eachother in school and never talked.. I saw her holding his hand once and it killed me. The last relationship she had was immediate and she got ****ed over. Why is she setting herself up again. Then again, I'm worried it will actually work out for her and I won't be the one anymore..

Anyways, I talked to her at the end of the day.. And I told her I don't know if I cant be friends when I have these feelings. She replied with "Well, I like (insertnamehere) now." So I asked her if the feelings she claimed to have for me where real, and she said they were on and off. She said" I really wanted to date you and then no, and then I really wanted to date you and then i don't." I left her on a bad note, telling her how betrayed I felt, and how I felt so hurt that she lied to me.


I still really like her and I don't think I'll be able to get over her for a long time. I don't think not being her friend would be a good solution either, but then again I'll always get jealous when I see her.

What do you think I should do? Does she even like me anymore? Or will she ever?

If anyone has similar experiences or anything, I'd love to hear them, I just don't wanna feel this terrible anymore.