friendship damaged due to undisclosed love

Hi all,

I haven't so far asked online for advice on a relationship-related issue, but here's my problem. Hopefully there will be someone to give a good advice.

I am a 30-year old guy. There is this girl friend of mine, a really good one, not really the best, but pretty high on the list of my friends. She's not only a friend of mine, but also a coworker in a company. We've known each other for about 8 years.

About six months ago I fell for her. We are both singles at the time. So I started to flirt a bit with her, which I did never before with her, not even a bit. The flirting wasn't bold, but only in the form of small hints. I guess it's best to say that I became more present around her, started to touch her more than I usually do, started to spend more time alone with her, and things like that. And it seemed to me that she kind of accepted the game, and even stated to reciprocate and send some signals to me. She never told me or gave any sign that she felt uncomfortable.

But then, when the Valentine's Day came, she told me and a group of friends that she was going to go on a date with some guy. That shocked me totally! I was totally out of myself for the next few days and completely depressed. I could not talk to her, not even see her, because it was so painful for me.

And then I started to be a complete idiot. I was not inviting her for lunch for a few days. Of course, she noticed that something strange was going on, and asked a common friend if he knew what was going on with me. He knew what was behind my strange behavior, but did not tell her. The next day, when I finally asked her to go for lunch, she did not want to go. I told her that there was no particular reason for not inviting her for lunch before. Later we went for lunch normally but I behaved like a jerk. I did not talk to her almost at all, but only with other people. I was answering her questions only briefly, and sometimes even ignored her. But she did not react to that, she did not tell me anything. Instead, she told everything to a common friend.

I behaved like that because I thought she was playing with my feelings. I was not sure is this was really the case but I could not resist. Maybe she did not realized at all that I had romantic feelings towards her, but I considered it unlikely.

I really do not want to continue with this behavior towards her, but I cannot help myself. I do not feel like telling her why I am that way. From time to time I decide I will change myself, but the moment I meet her, nothing really changes, I still behave like an idiot.

Does anybody have an advice how to go on without ruining friendship completely?

Thanks.

You cant keep this friendship. Like her and at the same time keep distance will make your dick fell off. Best you can do is say her" Fck me or fck off". The moment you started like her romanticaly you already ruined the friendship. Just tell her you would like to dat e her. Ask her on a date. Give it a shot, who knows she could go with you if just you would ask. You have nothing to loose, cause she already are suspicious about your crush and giving mixed signals like ignoring her will do nothing for progress or save frienship.