Devastated and confused! Need closure/advice. Please. Long read.

I'm new to all of this so please bare with me.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and 4months.
Just a little back round, I am 25, and he has just turns 30. We have had an absolutely amazing relationship, he has always treated me well, we have done everything for each other, we cooked together, ate together, spent every day together, text everyday. We were very loving, caring and affectionate towards each other since we got together.
When we met I remember thinking "oh god, if he didn't smoke so much weed and look like a mess, I would let him take me out"
Well one day he asked me. He asked me if he could take me out. I agreed, but said only if you stop the weed. And he agreed, as he said he would not need it if he was with me.
He had suffered slight depression as his mum died of cancer 1 year before we met, and I think the weed was maybe an escape. Anyway, 3 years on, he had not smoked any weed, his health was amazing he looked amazing, people were commenting on how good he looked, and said that it would be the making of him.
Like I said we were very happy, had 3 holidays together one of witch was a big florida one!
Anyway, after one year living in our flat we decided to cut our losses as the landlord was not very good, and we moved back to my mums. We were really happy here, he paid my mum rent and I paid for our phones and car etc etc, and gave him lifts to work as he does not drive.
Now then, baring in mind I thought we were totally happy and loving and the fact that he said he had never loved anybody like he loved me what happen next was a total shock to me.
We decided to rent our own place, we were both stressed about our jobs, and about being at my mums house in the end.
We found an amazing 2 bedroom house, beautiful and perfect and we were both really excited about moving out as we had been looking forward to it for so long!
I noticed that my bf had become a bit distant lately, his eyes were glassy, and he seemed to talk about how the guys from work are going out and how they've asked him to go out more. I said said well, as soon as we move out and were on our feet then we can start to enjoy things again.
Just a quick word: the guys who he works with are only in there 23-26 age range and still go out every weekend do do drugs and drink etc.
anyway, he was acting distant towards me, even called me mate by accident aswell.
To cut a long story short we had a couple of arguments about money, and 2 days before we were due to move out we had all the normal texts in the daytime, he was saying I was his soulmate and he loved me and could not wait to paint our new place. That night we had an argument about money, he had not managed to save his last £50, so again he expected me to lend it too him.( used to do this a lot, buying takeaways and I would have to lend him money to live on)
I was so enraged that I had my go, then refused to speak to him and went to sleep.
He did not even get into the covers that night. In the morning he kissed me goodbye and kissed my foot, and he left for work. I waited all day for a text and did not get one. Then as I was leaving work he text me to say he was going for a drinks and could I send him his saved money for the house. ( we were moving out the next morning). I was livid to say the least. I asked him if he wanted to move out and he said no. I asked are you sure and he said yes. This was through a text. I text him telling him not to come home again, and a few other things, that maybe I shouldn't have said. But I really did get angry.
The next morning he text me saying " I'm at my brothers I have nothing" I took his phone charger to him and he was so livid with me one minute he said he wanted space the next he said he's fed up of not being able to do what he wants then he said he didn't know if he loved me then he said he did love me 110%.
He said " can't you just go home and chill out for a month?maybe even 2 weeks or a day" you know me he said, I'll be alright.
Basically I was so upset by this point, not only had we now lost our dream home but he was acting really bloody weird with me! He tried to kiss me but I pulled away. He had this glassy look in his eyes.
I went home and literally just started freaking out, I was surrounded by all our stuff, our shared things, he had a phone in my name, our boxes were packed to move, our fav teddy was sat there ( sad I know)
I did all the needy text messages asking what's going on etc etc. he said he just did not feel like a person anymore, that he wanted to be able to smoke weed or go out and do drugs whoever he felt like it because "everybody else's gfs or wives are fine with it"
He said that he did not love me any less, but that something in him had changed.
He said he feels different to other people.
I said to him that this is not the man I know. And he said " I don't think there is anybody to know"
Instantly I started assuming he was depressed. I asked him and he said he did feel depressed, but that he always has done. They I started to wonder if the blokes at work were putting ideas in his head.
Anyway a couple of days passed and having not spoken much he decided to tell me something, ontop of everything he had done, he had something to tell me. Through text message.
I have fantasys of you with other men he said. And I like it. But obviously if it happened in real life I would hate it, but it turns me on to think about it.
Well I just laughed. I thought at least he finds me attractive. We had a bit of a joke about it and then the next day I felt really weird about it, told him I could never be with him again, and out of anger, I just said things.
Days went by and not much contact atall, he admitted that he has been smoking weed everyday because it makes him feel like a person again and it makes him feel spiritual again. I couldn't believe how stupid he was being. He admitted he had spent the rent money on weed because he was so stressed.
I asked him what was goin on in our relationship and he said he did not want to put a lable on it. Well instantly I felt insulted to say the least. I told him that if we could not work on our issues then what's the point. And I left it ten days no contact.In those ten days, I was off sick from work, being sick, not eating, smoking like a train, and crying in my mums bed with my heartbreak, of cores everybody told me to move on but I cannot let go that easily, especially as I was wondering if he did have depression .
I couldn't take it anymore, I decided to text him and ask what was going on because it wasn't fair on me. He text me back saying our relationship is over you know that.
Wow. Did I know that? Was I supposed to know that? I asked him why and he said ... I am not in love with you anymore. My hands were shaking, I grabbed the wine beside my bed and started downing it, just to try and calm down. Your not the woman for me he said. I need more.
More what I said? More understanding more what?
From life. Well this was a shock to me because the person I knew was not very outgoing, woul lock himself away for days to play computer games on his days off, never wanted to meet up with his family and was a total state before he met me. I got him a new job, well paid, got him a passport, took him on his first holiday abroad, gave him a home and my family accepted him as one of their own.
What more could he want? If he wanted to go out with the lads more why didn't he just sit down and talk to me!
Anyway, I tried not to beg, or plead, I asked a lot of whys, and what did I do wrong etc, but he could not give me an answer apart from that life is too short, I worry too much and he wants more from life. He said he's happier now, and so will I be.i said that's stupid you made me the happiest person ever. He said he did not feel the same.
We have hardly spoken since apart from about some money issues as he had a phone in my name, but he's acting so cold towards me he uses words like cheers, and is very blunt. I know he's smoking weed everyday now. And has also gone back to looking at conspiracy theory's all the time, he's even changed his facebook slogan to "trust nobody question everything". Is he smoking to medicate his depression? Is this making him feel like he doesn't love me anymore? Remember how I said in the beginning he said he still loved me.... I feel like his mates are having a really bad influence on him especially his mind set. He turns 30 last week too. It's been 3 weeks since this all happen and I'm still so confused as to what went wrong. I have been online and looked up every situation but it either confuses me more or breaks my hear when people say there's somebody else, as I know this is not the case, he had been with me every single day for 3 years, and he hides away on his days off, he's also smoking weed. I wonder if his new motor cycle gave him that "young and free" sense back, I just don't know what the hell happened! And he won't talk to me, he's acting like a totally differmt person to the one I knew for over 3 years.
I thought that because he was distancing himself from me emotionally for a couple of months I put it down to Xmas, mothers anniversary, and then Mother's Day. As these had all just passed or were coming up and he does go strange around those times. Also his brother was in contact with him a lot more the past few months, and usually he avoids him because he is a very depressing person. I'm wondering if he has just completely lost it!!! He's had to deal with his issues ( witch he's never done before) or if I made him feel trapped?! Please I would like some opinions. Last time we spoke was today after I text him about some money but he was very blunt. Probably stoned. And I was not horrible, I even said, and genuinely meant, have a good weekend, take care. But all I got back was thanks. I'm so confused. Does he think the grass is greener and has been poisoned by his mates and weed. I need closure and too move on, weather he comes back or not. I've read so many things online to get the ex back or do no contact and let them come crawling but I see this as mind games and I am a very honest person. I keep questioning everything wondering what I did what I could change did I appreciate him enough etc etc my mind is nuts and I think everybody around me is getting fed up because all I do is ask for answers but nobody knows. I came to a conclusion that I felt happy with and then I changed my mind. Non of it makes the heartache and missing him so much any easier. I have cried everyday.
Any wise words from anybody who may have been in a similar situation? Successes story's of making up/breaking up, moving on, or helping somebody? Do you think he's depressed, base on what he mentioned in the beginning of this mess. One minute he loved me the next he was not in love with me. I even asked him if he missed me at one point and he said of course I do silly. I just don't get it, the more he's away smoking weed the more he feels emotionally unattached to me. That's how it feels anyway.

Thank you if you have taken the time to read this!!!!
Any comments welcome.