The One Secret About Dating And Relationship
If you’re wondering when the magic really happens between you and a woman, let me tell you this…It’s not the first meeting but the second that will make a difference in your love life with a particular girl.
This is when your relationship with a girl really starts. And that's the secret that most guys don't know...and they throw everything but the kitchen sink at a girl at the first date. Bad, bad mistake...
OK, I know what you’re thinking. Why do you need a second meeting when you can nail her on the first one? I don’t have anything against one night stands. In fact, I’ve enjoyed my share of same night lays.
But believe me... all that gets old and your game will shift when you start realizing that you will come to a point where you must take a casual relationship with a quality girl to the next level. Sex is just the beginning.
Therefore, you must find quality girls that fit your idea of a great girlfriend.
What I'm going to say next might surprise you...
One good advice I can give you is to avoid having sex on the first meeting. Control the urge and save intimacy for the next time you see each other. The reason for this is simple. Your frame of mind, and hers, will shift from casual to more serious.
It’s your first REAL date, and you can bet she thinks of it that way too. Another reason to not have sex on the first meeting is to avoid what we call “morning-after remorse”. Women are more prone to this than men because
they feel like they’ve lost control, and the guilt that follows prevents them from talking to you again.
So, I’m actually saying you shouldn’t aim for the full close when you meet a woman? No. Rather, I’m saying you can delay the full close for much later, when you meet again for the second time. She will feel more comfortable talking to you if she knows she still has her bag of tricks under wraps.
Sex makes a woman feel naked, and at the back of her mind she is wondering if you really like her “for her” or you just want to bang again. You want her comfortable and eager to consider you as a possible long-term boyfriend. That means more sex for you with a quality girl, and a relationship that might just last forever.
Comfort level, rapport and the willingness to get to know you more… these factors will add magic to your second meeting.
But first things first...
But first, let’s make sure the second meeting actually happens. This means cementing the base for the next meeting during your first.
Saying “let’s go out tomorrow” and expecting a total stranger to say “yes” (and meaning it) is difficult to pull off without a crucial factor… comfort level.
A lot of the girls you meet don’t instantly want to meet with you, not because you suck, but because they don’t have a nagging reason to. You gotta realize this...
Certain attraction buttons need to be pushed before you can make her actually put on her best clothes, some perfume and make up, and show up in
the coffee shop where you agreed to meet.
So what happens when you first meet a girl?
So what happens when you first meet a girl? You ask for her number and she gives it to you. What’s next? You call her to set up a date. That’s when things get
tricky,
here’s why…
She might have lost the vibe of the previous night.
If you met on a Saturday evening during a party, where she might have drank a few beers and felt giddy, flirty and elated, she might not be feeling the
same emotions when you call her on a Monday with work-stress setting in.
The point is that you must leave a good impression to make her remember what she felt for you during that night.
Also, avoid calling her ‘babe’ or ‘honey’ during your phone call. She might have thought it was fun to be called by a nickname you’ve given her while you were at the party, but like a hangover, that notion evaporates when “real life” sets in.
So, call her by her name (make sure you get it right) and don’t get offended if she doesn’t remember you. Instead, remind her of a fragment of your conversation, particularly the part where she laughed the hardest.
The thing is, you have to build rapport all over again. The good news is that if you did the first part right, i.e. you made her comfortable during your first meeting, you won’t have to struggle to get her on an emotional high again.
First of all, you already know something about her from what she told you about herself during your conversation. Secondly, she liked you enough to give you her number. Her level of attraction can be pushed higher during your phone call, and this will help avoid flake outs when you get around to asking her out.
Now that you know about this, here’s a reminder…
When you meet her the first time, make the “first date” your goal, not just getting her number. Why? If she knows you want her number so you can call her when you want to hang with her again, she will feel less uncomfortable about spilling her digits.
If you just want her number and do or say nothing about a possible date, you’re doing it wrong.
You see, if you just ask for the number, she’s going to expect a phone call. If you make it clear that you want to date her, she’s going expect you to contact her for the date. You need her to look forward to the date, not just the phone call.
