Brought another man into the bedroom and it was a huge mistake.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months. I'm absolutely adore and love her and we like to try new things in bed. I told her a while back I've always had a cuckoldingesque (not into the degredation part but simmiliar) fetish and that I'd like to role play with it. After a while she expressed interest in actually trying it as she knew I was also interested. So a few days ago we got a hotel room and someone (we talked to shortly don't know him) ended up coming over later in the night and having sex with my girlfriend for about 45 minutes while I watched. Now keep in mind I find this EXTREMLY sexy. But about halfway through I started to have a panic attack and started feeling like it was a massive mistake. I didn't end up stopping it but by the time he left I was bawling and couldn't form a sentence. I told her how I felt which in turn made her feel horrible. The past few days we've been trying to cope with what happened. Its gotten to the point that were both having panic attacks and feel disgusted when the thought of it pops in our heads.Now to add insult to injury I was texted by the man tonight and he informed me thay thw condom broke part of the way through and he came inside her twice.I love this girl to death and were trying to put this past us but its like we both have some mild type of ptsd with this situation. And now on top of it we need to get a pregnancy test and both get tested.*I don't know if I've just made a irreversable mistake and this will ruin our relationship. Or if there is something I can do to help us both feel at ease. We have tried talking about it but it goes no where....

This is like the movie with Demi Moore (portrayed as the wife) and Woody Harrelson (as the husband) who asked his wife to sleep with Robert Redford ( the millionaire) in exchange for a million dollars. After the deed was done, husband and wife cannot cope with what happened no matter how much they had talked about it. It eventually put a big dent in their relationship and caused them to eventually get divorced.

It's tough what you're going through. Next time you decide to do something foolish, make sure you can deal with the consequences.

I hope you can both get through this.

Did she take the morning after pill? And she should get tested, yes, and you too if you'd feel more comfortable. Hopefully she's not pregnant and you're both clean, so you could at least stop worrying about that.

You're both pretty shaken up by what happened but I suppose it is possible to overcome that in time and even together. A friend of mine joined a swing club with her first husband but they had been together for several years and their adventures were pretty organized and safe, however spicing up their sex life in that way didn't bring back the love they used to have and were looking for. When she became single she realized that she wouldn't like to that again. She had reached her limit and respected it the same way you and your girlfriend should respect yours from now on.

I agree your story it's a bit unusual but hopefully it will have less consequences than you fear and you'll both be able to feel better in time and put this behind you. It's a major lesson, yes, but it's not exactly the end of the world. You were both unaware of many things, including how you really felt about something like that, got carried away in the fantasy land, but you both know now that some fantasies should remain just that, fantasies.

PTSD, panic and anxiety are caused by the loss of feelings of safety. In some way, you felt threatened by what you experienced. Your STD test and pregnancy test will help to alleviate a lot of your worry. That may be enough. After that, if you still have remorse, you should never do it again. Your relationship can survive this. Many do. But expect there to be some transformation. This could turn out to be something to help you bond with this girl, or something that will drive you apart. I hope you will not judge yourself or her too harshly for what happened. Remember you both did this willingly and presumably neither was coerced into it.