Ladies, please give me some much needed perspective on this situation
My ex-girlfriend and I broke up about 9 months ago. For the first three months, I made the "classic" mistakes of begging and pleading for a second chance, sending flowers and gifts to her house, and basically doing everything that I could to (unwittingly) push her away. Finally, I got over it and started casually hooking up with two other women. I was finally starting to make peace with what happened between my ex and I when I bumped into her at my local watering hole. We started talking and she told me that she still had feelings for me, really missed me, and would not make any promises but was willing to try and "work things out" with me.
The ex and I have been seeing each other for the last three months, and we started going to therapy about a month ago. Things are amazing when we are together, but I've caught her in some lies and shady behavior that casts a shadow on everything and makes me doubt whether this is a good idea.
There was a guy that she dated for a couple of months right after we broke up, let's call him Bob. According to her, Bob is a really fun guy to hang out with and they make each other laugh, but there is no physical chemistry between them and she is not sexually attracted to him. They are still friends and have drinks a few times a month.
I have met the guy and have no problems with them having drinks.
However, about a month ago I asked her out for dinner one evening and she told me that she was too tired from work and planned to go to bed early. My gut told me that she was lying. I remembered that she once told me Bob lived in a motel on the other side of town. There are only a couple of motels in our small town, and so I waited about an hour and then drove to the larger of the two motels. Sure enough, her car was in the back of the parking lot where it couldn't be seen from the street.
I didn't confront her right away, but did bring it up in our next therapy session. Her explanation was that they had drinks, she drove him home because he does not have a car, and then they watched a movie and drank beer, after which she went home.
Do I believe her? Maybe. But a man and a woman alone, in a motel room, and they did not have sex? Even if they did not have sex, the fact that she lied about where she was going is troublesome to me. What is there to lie about if you are just friends with the guy?
Another recent incident involves her texting an unknown person (no name in her contacts, just a phone number) about how much she "f****** misses" that person. Could be her best friend from high school for all I know, but I doubt it.
Ladies...what do you think? Am I asking for heartache here? Or am I overreacting and giving her a bad time about socializing with her friends?
